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Reged: 11/29/03
Posts: 3
Loc: Florida,USA
Friends slowly retreating from my life
      #227509 - 06/01/07 05:52 AM

Wow - the last thing I would have thought to come true was the quick retreat of my close friends.As hard as the whole process of trying to gage people to see who was ready or seemed ready to hear my news has been an ultimate failure.Truthfully I would never have believed that this situation would ever have come true. Medical and social professionals that are disappearing quicker than my sanity levels.I'm just sinking furthur and further into depression over all of this - I could do this with a support base of close friends but I don't think I can do this alone ! Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can approach this desperate problem because I'm almost down for the count.

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Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: Friends slowly retreating from my life new
      #227511 - 06/01/07 06:29 AM


Don't lose sleep over this I to have disclosed to many friends over the last year and have lost some of them it shoed to me who was true and meaningful in my life. I was also rejected by my family and then again I have made so many good friends on these boards and others with people from different walks of life and as diverse as what you can get but the love end support I got from them is what is needed. You will always have friends on here that will be there when you need them to be. And the friend here will never leave you. Vent here it is ok we will always be here for you

Much love

"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

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Reged: 10/31/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Friends slowly retreating from my life new
      #227529 - 06/01/07 07:49 PM

In the real world (your world) friends will come and go out of your life no matter hiv or not. It might feel a bit more dramatic right now, but if they were truly your friends, they would still be here...

How to fix it?? Go find some new friends.....

Ill be the first,


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Reged: 03/16/07
Posts: 41
Re: Friends slowly retreating from my life new
      #227530 - 06/01/07 09:12 PM

Hello Milo,
Do not fret about those people who cannot see beyond the HIV banner through to the real you. Those who are retreating are either the people who never really cared about you ( and now thank God they are gone) or those who do care, but may need some time to get used to it and get back to you.

I know you feel bad about loosing friends, especially now. Its not the end of the world. You will make more friends, especially here on this forum who will love you for the person you are. We are here for you....personally I can say I am here for you. Please do not hesitate to holla at me if you need me. I found a lot of love and understanding on this forum, and I want to share it with others.

Love you.

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New User

Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 7
Re: Friends slowly retreating from my life new
      #227912 - 06/14/07 03:16 PM

I can relate my friend...within the last two year it would appear that everybody has gone their own direction; some of it was good though and I was involved in the break; there were "what I thought were good friendships" that were not. I put out the emails, phone calls, paid for lunchs/dinners and helped with their problems; so I choose to "individuate" from them, simply put, to become an individual in my own sense. So, i left many of the toxic friendships; maybe they were all toxic? Finding new friends has been so damned hard; i'm a pretty open, honest guy...I start conversations, etc., but in the long run i come home to a empty house.\\

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT? Man I really don't know...I just continue to put myself out there, trying to remember that i'm a good man, with a lot to offer; yet, when I meet toxic people (something i've become good at), i stop and walk the other way...doing estimable acts, helping other without a desire for something back and re-visiting my true loves i.e. photography


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New User

Reged: 08/25/06
Posts: 2
Loc: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Re: Friends slowly retreating from my life new
      #228577 - 07/07/07 07:48 AM

Hi Milo, I don't think there isn't one HIV+person that hasn't gone through what you have gone through. Believe me when I tell you, you feel like someone has taken every morsal of your being piece by piece as your friends leave you slowly over a period months.

Now that I've describe the symptom lets get on with living; you'll soon find that most of those friends that deserted you will start to come back (surprised) why? because most of them will be surprise to see you out and about living and loving as you use to.

Much Love, Fergie.

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