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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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ilovetab
Newbie

Reged: 05/24/07
Posts: 2
Dating in Los Angeles w/HIV.....
      #227260 - 05/24/07 11:09 PM

Hi. I have been living in Los Angeles, CA for 7 years now. Since my move out to the jolly ole land of sun, fun & lala people, I have managed to bring this lovely disease called HIV upon myself. I found out I was + 5 years ago. It initially came as a shock to me.....but I expected no less since I engaged in lots of anonymous, empty, somewhat unfulfilling sex with many, many men. Mostly very good looking, to hot to handle, men. I guess I sort of "asked for it" considering I am a very smart individual and knew exactly the kind of trouble I was getting myself into. The thing about it was.....when I moved out to L.A., I was alone, vulnerable and enjoying my surroundings. Apparently, so did a lot of men. I was the "new kid on the block". I always wanted and strived for having a monogamous, truthful, fulfilling relationship with a man. I went from one so called bf to another. All much older than me. Never really knowing how a young gay man should live his life. Until I moved out to L.A. on my own. Instead of going out on dates, which is what I was accustomed to, I had sex. I guess it was thrilling in a way. Receiving some sort of validation that I was being accepted into the gay world of Los Angeles. You know people only go by looks out here! lol Well most people do. And yes, it does help to have looks in a town that is so shallow.....but that is CERTAINLY not everything. With the more and more sex I had, the deeper and deeper depressed I became. I was afraid that I could never find anyone that was worthy of me. Then I found out I was positive. It took a while to get used to....but after the dust settled.....I took a whole different look at my life!!! I took something "positive", if you will, from it. My mood got better and I had a focus. On ME! I wasn't so anxious to "be in love" or find the next Mr. Right. I focused my energy and strength on myself, my career and my life here. All in all it has been a wonderful journey. And even though I rather not be positive, I take only great things from it. Because before I was....I was running to fast. Always trying to find the next best thing. It is like an alcoholic.....you have to hit rock bottom before you can enjoy life again. And that is what I did. I am 30 yrs. old now, in great shape and health and love my life. The only thing missing.....is still that "special someone". I do at times think about, "well what if I find that special someone, how is he going to feel about me being positive?" I guess I will just have to cross that bridge if I come to it again. There have been guys out here that I have met and told......but they ran fast away!!!! You'd be surprised at how many gay men in a big city like this are very ignorant and mean about this subject. So this post is for all you guys out there living in other parts of the country that feel they are not accepted and feel that their surrounding is a closed minded surrounding. Whether you live in the mid-west or in sunny L.A.......there will be ignorant SOBs when it comes to this subject. I give you all strength, health and prosperity!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck;)

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Robert1
All Star

Reged: 05/29/07
Posts: 96
Re: Dating in Los Angeles w/HIV..... new
      #227406 - 05/30/07 12:34 PM

Great post. I thought L.A. was rough and you certainly describe it well.

I'm newly diagnosed (1 year) and 27. Have you started on treatment yet?

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sumbody
Member

Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 12
Loc: California
Re: Dating in Los Angeles w/HIV..... new
      #229183 - 08/07/07 02:39 AM

I have been positive for 1 month! So, I am definitely new at this. I lived in West Hollywood for 7 years and now live in Palm Springs. I found LA to be full of every sort of person, but the stereotype was hard to ignore. Now, I live in Palm Springs. I am not sure why, but people here are very accepting of HIV and it's implications. I think it might be because so many men here are positve, and because the community is made up of men that are a little older than the rest of the country for the most part. I love it though and I am only 36. I loved your post. Also, for newbie, I am only 1 month positive and I started treatment immediately. It isn't so bad, and there are a lot of studies that indicate it is wise to start early. Dreaded reservoirs and all that...I hope to keep in touch with you guys. I still have a house in west hollywood and I am there often enough for a drink now and then.

--------------------
We are more than the sum of our cd4 totals and viral load counts.

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