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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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Anonymous
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Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz?
      #199457 - 07/10/06 04:43 PM

As a deeply closeted guy, I'd rather people know that I'm poz than that I might be gay. I think gays have a much harder time time in main stream society than poz people.



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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #199461 - 07/10/06 05:23 PM

holy shit! wow... I am the opposite end of that rainbow!!

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Anonymous
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Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #199471 - 07/10/06 05:36 PM

Don't worry, most people already know you're gay.....
Telling them you're POZ is something else.

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Bear60
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Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #199554 - 07/11/06 12:51 PM

Knock Knock .....whose there? Closet case. Closet case who? I know I am but what are you?
LoL
My favorite one is this: T shirt that says: I'm Not Gay but My Boyfriend Is

Now seriously....juggling two secrets at once is going to be difficult. If you can do it, then you're a stonger person than I am. I guess it just depends on your situation. Frankly I would feel obligated to tell my doctor about both since I would want him/her to be able to give me the proper medical attention.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Anonymous
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Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #199596 - 07/11/06 07:57 PM

I would choose gay over HIV+

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #199643 - 07/12/06 01:22 AM

Being gay is not anything to be ashamed of because each of us as individuals have experienced situations that so-called poz would never know how to deal with. I never thought I would fall in love with my sex abuser yet as a child I was abused and through the ordeal I fell in love with my abuser. It seems a sick situation yet I learned to understand his frustration and need of being loved in return. Being gay is not a sickness its a ideology of lived out episodes often leading to a deep relationship with someone on the real. I lost my best friend and mate a few years ago to aids and now I suffer the ailment yet I have no regrets and try hard to deal with all the miseries that accompany this dreaded disease. Even so, I still maintain my status...if only in secret to the society we must live in and too often in the shadows of our own truth. God Bless each and everyone of us and Love is real even if you're gay...sometimes deeper than most love affairs, out of the need of belonging and being loved in return.

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DanielMark
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Reged: 06/06/04
Posts: 120
Loc: Ottawa Canada
Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #200189 - 07/15/06 05:41 PM

Hmm, interesting question.

Well for me I haven't hid being Gay since my mid teen years. I don't flaunt it, it's just not something that should matter to anyone but a lover. I mean, people don’t generally go around asking which sex you sleep with. Or do they? LOL Not where I live at least.

Why live a lie? If it’s fear - of losing a job or friends - get a new job or better more truthful friends. If you live in a homophobic town, relocate. Unless you enjoy making yourself miserable.

It’s 2006. There is no good reason to put your honest self behind a closet door anymore.

As for disclosing my status, my close friends know, my family knows, my health care providers know. Beyond that, it’s no one’s business.

Oh and yes, my boyfriend knows. <wink>

--------------------
Follow your honest heart

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thevillebear
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Reged: 06/10/06
Posts: 66
Loc: KY
Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #201964 - 07/29/06 07:35 PM

I have to agree people already know you are gay. As for being pos. is it really anyones business other than your MD and those you have sex with? I think not.

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MikeStone47
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Reged: 08/25/06
Posts: 4
Loc: Southgate, MI
Re: Which is Harder - Being Gay or Poz? new
      #205281 - 08/28/06 11:03 PM

Some gays do have a harder time of it. I know a number of men who reached their 50's and discovered they were gay after being married, raising children and having grandchildren. Younger gays in their 20's and 30's have no conception of what it was like in previous decades when gay oppression was so incredibly embedded into every fabric of our society. There used to be no chat rooms, no bulletin boards, no internet, no emails, no phone sex, no cyber sex, no pictures with profiles. How did we meet? We did it the hard way.

I learned long ago that everyone comes out in their own way and in their own time. You cannot "bring someone out" no more than you can make their personality. Tolerance begins at home. We should not be so hasty to judge another's life by criticizing their closetedness, we didn't live that life.


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