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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Dr Laura....humor
      #198260 - 06/29/06 07:08 PM

This has been coming around for years.....but since this is the first time its come around since I've been here at TheBody, I figured you guys might appreciate it. This is meant as humor and not my religious or political views.......................however, in light of efforts to ban gay marriage and so on...well you get the picture.....

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who
dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio
show. Recently, she said that, as an observant
Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open
letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident,
which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as
well as informative:
-----------------------------


Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal
from your show, and try to share that knowledge with
as many people as I can. When someone tries to
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I
simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do
need some advice from you, however, regarding some
of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1 When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -
Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2 I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?

3 I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
while she is in her period of menstrual
uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
offense.

4 Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves,
both male and female, provided they are purchased
from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims
that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5 I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6 A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
agree. Can you settle this?

7 Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to
admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision
have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8 Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though
this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
should they die?

9 I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?

10 My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it
really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
getting the whole town together to stone them? -
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at
a private family affair like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so
I am confident you can help. Thank you again for
reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted fan,








--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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MiamiLat
Guardian

Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 396
Loc: Miami, FL
Re: Dr Laura....humor new
      #198351 - 06/30/06 11:04 AM

I love it !!! LOL, thanx Bear!
P.S. How u liking Commander in Chief?

--------------------
"Education, prevention, awareness, research, and support"

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Dr Laura....humor new
      #198400 - 06/30/06 05:04 PM

Thanks for turning me on to it!!!!!

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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