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Anonymous
Unregistered

*sigh*
      #174218 - 02/08/06 11:31 PM

So how does everyone deal with depression? I always seem to be depressed, my confidence in my job seems to be going fast. No major health issues, just taking my meds.
How does everyone keep themselves going?

Thanks to all :)

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: *sigh* new
      #174224 - 02/09/06 12:12 AM

Thats a good question. I can tell you what I would like to do, what I really do and what I wish I could do. I think everyone finds a nitch to their comfort zone with hiv. This will be my six month of knowing I am HIV. My life pretty much went directly into overdrive in how to deal with all the questions and all the pain that a positive diagnosis gives.

For me personally, I have found many friends who are HIV positive. I have come out to everyone I care about with my diagnosis so I have people to talk to (dont recomend this for everyone!) and I have found these forums to help understand learn and love again.

I also work very hard. In fact I probably work to much 80 hours per week. It keeps my mind off of HIV and keeps me focused on other things. If I was a home body. I would flip out. My ADD already has fun with HIV. There should be a clinical study called ADDHIV. My doc just laughs at me. But I also laugh at myself..

I am working on making time for my husband as well as getting to the gym. I know I am years away from any LIPO but I aint taken any chances. Do you here me? I am worried about fat distribution now!!! Can you even fathom this??? 20 years ago, they just wanted to live. Well we have come along ways in the HIV community havent we.

Lastly, I am trying to make some sence of this for me to go on. I want to add my part to history (and a positive one) before I die. I am learning as fast as I can regarding my condition. If I can help even one person who is paralized like I was from not being paralized, I think God would be smiling down on me.

Lastly, I want to see a cure. Not a cure that eradicates 99.99999999999999% of the virus, but a cure that would reduce this killer of men/women and children to zero. I know we will see this in my lifetime..

Depression? Well I take Paxil. I find I am only depressed when I am doing nothing. If I am helping others, hard at work or busy with my hubby. I am not depressed. Talk with your doctor. DEPRESSION can be managed. (Ok Co. If this thread turns into 15 pages, I am going to come looking for you. This is what I said on that last one (managable is a bad word around these here parts)...

I hope you hop out of your depression soon. Life is movin with or without you... Get on the boat. Its a great ride.

Love


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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: *sigh* new
      #174255 - 02/09/06 07:34 AM

If you are really depressed then you need to see a doctor and a therapist. If you are able to function, have no debilitating issues ( like drinking too much), I think you can do things that make you happy. Start small and work up...go shopping for something you want, see a movie you have wanted to see and keep going ( maybe to Paris). lol


--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Blixer
Legend

Reged: 01/10/06
Posts: 599
Loc: Missouri
Re: *sigh* new
      #174312 - 02/09/06 11:17 AM

Anon, Bear and Eric have both said some very good things. I was hit with this diagnosis one month ago. I'll admit that it hasn't been easy. I'm scared. So far I'm not on meds so I don't have to deal with that yet. I find that keeping busy is one thing that helps so much. And I also focus on what I want to do in the future. I'm making plans. I haven't just stopped and waited on this thing. I've decided I'm going to go ahead and live my life.

I agree with Eric and Bear that maybe seeing a counselor or a doctor could be helpful.

Please know that we are here for you. Keep talking!

David

--------------------
David
Sustiva, Epivir, Videx EC


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AustinGuy
Regular

Reged: 02/03/06
Posts: 31
Loc: Austin, Texas
Re: *sigh* new
      #174428 - 02/09/06 09:31 PM

I don't know if this helps but I have found that I can easily make myself so stressed out about all the things you cannot control about this disease that it quickly brings me down. Just tonight I was sitting here freaking out that I have to go for my second three month test soon and what if the results aren't good and why haven't I done X and I still have to read books A B and C and before I know it major blues.

So if it helps at all I always find that just taking a deep breath and reminding myself you can only do this one day at a time helps. Sounds silly and new age at times but somehow it works.

That and I'm thankful all the time that I'm going to a therapist - check it out if you are not - it can help so much. If you can't go on your own check out counseling services at a local AIDS service organization - they are set up for these things.

And keep posting - helped me :-)

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: *sigh* new
      #174453 - 02/09/06 11:22 PM

Hay Austin.. Careful on reading "Everything there is to Know about you know what" (esp on the internet!). Its awfully early in the game for you. I found it very frightening initially and I did nothing except trust in what my specialist told me. Once I got a bit more comfortable, I began to push out every so slightly in find more info. DONT SCARE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE A LIFETIME TO DO THAT, if you want to. Easy does and one day at time is not silly. Its how I live. It works just fine. But it takes time and practice. Stay out of tomorrow. Waste of your time today. Let your docs do what you pay them for. Then eventually you will become as versed as your doctor in your healthcare. But dont try and get there yet. Just take your bloody sweet time with this. Whats your #'s if I may be so bold?

Best

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: *sigh* new
      #174812 - 02/12/06 11:09 PM

Thanks to everyone for all your positive words of wisdom!!!!

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ScotCharles
Legend

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Re: *sigh* new
      #175055 - 02/14/06 07:49 PM

Xanax, valum, librium, yoga, meditation, young love, reruns of "Auntie Mame" with Rosalind Russell, Scotch, cigarettes, vicodin, marijuana, prozac, Jesus Christ, Buddha, Quan Yin, winter tulips, cats noses, dog paws, birdie feets, getting even, winning at Santa Anita, payoffs on nickel slots, waiters with cute butts, college wrestling on ESPN, swim meets on ESPN, Lords of Dogtown, Brad Pitt, Joe Montana, David Beckham, Prince William, Sean Connery, roses in vases, chintz sofas, afternoon tea with milk, the bikkies aisle in a British grocery, sun warmed peaches, pastis on an afternoon in Provence, gelato in the Gardens of the Villa Borghese, feeding the ducks in St. James Park, the ferry from Skye to Oban, peat smoked salmon in the Highlands, my mother reading poetry to me in bed, the first time I made love, licorice, Prague, Paris, London, Rome, my first sight of Venice, the rooftops of Florence, the David, the Venus de Milo, the Borghese Warrior, the Laccoon, Le Sacre de Napoleon, Le Morte de Marat, the joke what does Winnie Mandela have in common with Lord Nelson (answer: they both sit on Nelson's column), Tosca, La Boheme, La Traviata, Aida, Beethoven's Ninth, Mozart's Jupiter, anything by Phillip Glass, Bill Hemmer, Peter Jennings, Pierce Brosnan, Seth Green, and on and on and on.......

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: *sigh* new
      #175503 - 02/16/06 07:47 PM

Great list of fun, fabulous things!!!!!!!!!!!
We all need to make ourselves a list like this of what we most enjoy on this sweet earth. What keeps us taking those meds, what makes want to stay. Otherwise we are on a trip going nowwhere. Thanks Scott for more ideas!
I also love pastis in shady cafes in provence and wandering around vencie for days.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: *sigh* new
      #175505 - 02/16/06 07:51 PM

You have to take a deep breath and do the things you love, eat only the things that you enjoy and are hopefully healthy, meet or be with people you enjoy, see movies you like, go to the park or the zoo and watch nature. Get out of yourself and enjoy the sky. Volunteer somewhere! Expand your world. Volunteer at an old age home on weekends.
Write a list of all the things you would like to do and DO IT

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Blixer
Legend

Reged: 01/10/06
Posts: 599
Loc: Missouri
Re: *sigh* new
      #175554 - 02/16/06 11:44 PM

Today my doctor prescribed an antidepressant for me. And I didn't think I was depressed. She told me not to argue or try to be macho... just to take the medication. I had lost 7 pounds in two months and she thinks an anti-depressant will help.


--------------------
David
Sustiva, Epivir, Videx EC


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ScotCharles
Legend

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Re: *sigh* new
      #175591 - 02/17/06 01:46 AM

I was once wandering around Venice lost looking for the della Sante Church where the miraculous healing icon of the Virgin lives....when I saw an overdoor motto that said in Italian "There is Always Hope".....and around the next corner was the church!

I left money to pay the women who pray the rosary 24 hours a day for the sick and suffering just because of that motto. Ah Venice...and the cute gondoliers too bad they row behind you.

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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DavidSolomon
All Star

Reged: 02/17/06
Posts: 95
Loc: Gilbert (Phoenix) Arizona
Re: *sigh* new
      #175804 - 02/18/06 04:29 PM

It is OK to be frightened and scared. That is a natural thing. Try not to focus on fighting that too much. That will always be there, if even in the background. Instead direct yourself on things you would like to do, just for enjoyment for yourself, go places, do things, work on a project--whatever. Things you need to do, to work with the situation. This would be your doctors for professional advice, friends for personal support and heart, and also listen to yourself. Ask yourself questions, come up with two or three or more answers to each. Play with that. Try to put your mind and self at ease as much as you can.

Everyone has come up with some great ideas. More may come that are even different than these. For the most part, be kind to yourself. You are SOMEBODY, and that says a lot.

David.

--------------------
David

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DanielMark
Expert

Reged: 06/06/04
Posts: 120
Loc: Ottawa Canada
Share your inner life new
      #177272 - 02/26/06 04:48 AM

As someone with a past history of major depression, I have to agree with AustinGuy:

"So if it helps at all I always find that just taking a deep breath and reminding myself you can only do this one day at a time helps. Sounds silly and new age at times but somehow it works."

One day is all anyone ever really gets, Poz or Neg.

Someone once said: That which is not ex-pressed is de-pressed. In other words, share your inner life (feelings, thoughts, joys or worries) with anyone who cares enough to listen, whether that be friend, family, health care provider, or simply in forums like this one where people will KNOW where you are coming from.

Keeping stuff inside you will only build to overwhelming and make living with this virus way more difficult than it needs to be.

--------------------
Follow your honest heart

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still_here
Guardian

Reged: 02/01/06
Posts: 389
Re: *sigh* new
      #177279 - 02/26/06 09:46 AM

Mr ScotCharles... i would like to live vicariously thru you if that's ok! i stopped at a cup of starbucks & a box of poptarts. your answer is way better!!

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