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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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rec drugs and hiv
      #167841 - 12/26/05 10:37 AM

salut! I have an ex who tested hiv + about 1.5 years ago. What troubles me is that he seems to be treating his body as if he does not have a serious disease. He uses ecstacy/cocain and now has tatooed his body. It almost seems like he has taken the attitude "I'm going to party hard till I can't party no more." If he takes care of himself he can do just fine with the disease but if not the disease will take its toll. So how do you help someone young and handsome accept the fact that the "party" as they once knew "should be" over and to really start taking care of themselves and their body? it's really a troubling situation.

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Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: rec drugs and hiv new
      #167977 - 12/28/05 12:54 AM

I believe that "everyone has to find their own path" is pretty much the way you have to treat your ex. He is going to have to make his own decisions about his lifestyle and about his excesses. I gather that he is a young guy. He is probably in denial, and partying numbs the reality of his situation. So....he doesnt have to deal with HIV. If you want to be honest with him, fine. Tell him his partying is destructive....that its going to make his life worse instead of better. But beyond that there isnt much you can do. I had a friend who literally partied himself to death. No one could get through to him. All his friends just gave up trying. So, dont beat YOURSELF up in the process. But I would be honeswt with him. Sometimes an honest response is needed. For instance: if he comes to you to borrow money: tell him NO. If he shows up at your house with a really big sob story, you dont have to be all sympathetic...just say " I dont like what you are doing to your self and I won't be a part of it"... and mean it.

6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Brady Ralston

Re: rec drugs and hiv new
      #168075 - 12/29/05 03:53 AM

A documentary (Welcome to My Path) about HIV, crystal meth and health is about to have it's first screening in San Francisco on January 19, 2006. This documentary is about Brady Ralston and his path. Please check out his website for more information.

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New User

Reged: 07/13/05
Posts: 4
Loc: NYC, NY
Re: rec drugs and hiv new
      #168636 - 01/04/06 02:58 PM

I was your friend about 113 days ago. For me unfortunately I had to hit 'rock bottom'. Learning that you are POZ was something that I didn't know how to deal with and hated myself for getting sick. Drugs numbed the pain but then realized that my life had really spinned out of control. I dedicated myself to a twelve step program - and attend meetings on a daily basis along with therapy.

Unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom before I got help. Wish I could write a bit more but I have to get to work....feel free to e-mail me if you need advice.

"one day at a time"

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