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max_max
Newbie

Reged: 12/12/05
Posts: 4
just diagnosed postive
      #166947 - 12/14/05 02:07 AM

I am 29 y/o. I did a blood test in the beginning of Agust. It was negative. However, I did a follow-up check up at the end of November. I was diagnosed positive. My family don't know I am gay. I just feel I disappoint my family. I have so many questions. I am wondering how much the HIV status affect the daily life, physical apperance, and when I should start medication since I don't have a HIV doctor now.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #166952 - 12/14/05 06:36 AM

if you need people to talk to, besides this forum, post your email addy, i will write you.
good luck to you.

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ny10001
Grand Master

Reged: 07/08/05
Posts: 199
Loc: New York
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #166971 - 12/14/05 10:36 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I can strongly relate to your situation. I would suggest going to poz.com and then into the "Connections" section. You can request assistance from a "mentor" who will be happy to discuss your situation with you. I am a volunteer mentor there, so feel free to look for me if you like....my username in the mentor section is "nyc10001".

Regarding your future, don't be too hard on yourself. If you have access to quality healthcare, you can live a long and healthy life. Right now you're probably going through an adjustment period. It's good to learn about the virus and its lifecycle as well as the medication options that are available to you when the time is appropriate. thebody.com has some good reference material and so does aidsmeds.com.

Good luck, and I hope to hear from you. You'll make it through this.

And no...you're not a disappointment to your family or anyone else.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #166972 - 12/14/05 10:52 AM

You have alot of support here.. Best thing is to ask alot of questions and find people you can talk to! I and my partner were just diagnosed 3 months ago. I know what your thinking. EVERYTHING! Take the advise of these people, but get in touch with a HIV doctor in your area. There are many ways to find them. Find out where you stand. Ask questions here or at POS.COM.. But dont isolate or feel to down on yourself. Right now just hang tight. You dont have to spill the beans right now to your family. There are so many options available to you. YOU WILL LIVE, YOU WILL HAVE A QUALITY OF LIFE. AND AN APPRECIATION OF IT AS WELL. AND YOU WILL BE OK... Its ok to Feel what your feeling. Trust me, Been there done that... And still doing it...

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167016 - 12/14/05 07:10 PM

HIV will affect your life, not dramastically but mentally. U have to control hiv and not let it controll you. dont be afraid of death and dont think about becoming ill. Continue to be yourself, keep a close connection with others who are hiv positive and work your hardest to stay educated on the disease

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max_max
Newbie

Reged: 12/12/05
Posts: 4
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167032 - 12/15/05 02:50 AM

Thanks for your guys' support. I've got a lot of info from this site, and I keep telling myself done is done and I am not gonna surrender. I try to keep myself busy and focus. I will be finish my final exams tomorrow. I'll do some reaccessment after that. Acutally, I feel a bit better today. I'll go back the clinic on Friday and find out my health status and treatment options. Thank you very much.

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max_max
Newbie

Reged: 12/12/05
Posts: 4
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167034 - 12/15/05 03:02 AM

Thank you nyc10001. It is the roughest week for me. I received this shocking news right before my final exams. I was thinking of quitting my exams and school because of this. But I didn't. I'll be finished all exams tomorrow and will go back the clinic and talk to the RN who follows my case. She will help me to set up appointments to see a HIV specialist and counsellor. I really appreciate the site like this. It provides a lot of valuable info and support from your guys. I'll look for you in the poz.com soon. Thank you very very much.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167055 - 12/15/05 11:07 AM

Dear "just",
I work as a mental health counselor to HIV patients as part of a Ryan White Title III program. Please know that HIV is seen more as a chronic, manageable disease. The most important thing is to educate yourself and get into treatment. Treatment may at this point be monitoring. Most of the patients I work with are considered "long-term slow progressors" and have been + for 15+ years or more. Please do not get into what I call Stinking Thinking! Stay in care and you have a great chance to do very well!!!!! All my Best!

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GoodGuyNBR
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167059 - 12/15/05 12:24 PM

Hey there. I share a similar story. I was diagnosed almost two years ago. I'm 36, family doesn't know I'm gay. I was working in a job that was hostile to gay men, and I didn't really have many gay friends.

When i was diagnosed, I was pretty shaken up. It forced me to deal with lots of issues--my sexuality, my behavior, self image. I am really lucky because my faith is really the defining characteristic in my life. I decided that what had happened had happened. It wasn't some sort of punishment from God, nor was it necessarily a death warrant. I bought several books (Amazon is great and has a lot on newly diagnosed issues). I read what I could, and then I went online and found an HIV specialist. I will say that I am VERY fortunate that my job has health insurance. I recommen the American Academy of HIV Medicine website (aahivm.org). They have physician locator soervices that are super helpful.

To adress some specifics that you're probably fearing. My CD4 count was around 550 and my VL was 75,000, but the doc I went to wanted to hit early, hit hard. He started me on Viread and Emtriva on my third visit after wanting to wait at first. He later added Kaletra and switched me to Truvada which is just a combo of the two above-mentioned meds. After over a year on this regimine, never had any side effects, my numbers are awesome, and physically I feel great. No changes in my daily routine except that I bought a pill box so I remember to take my meds. Still haven't talked with the family, but that's coming closer every day.

I don't know if this means anything to you, but you're in my prayers. I remember how tough this is, but have hope and don't be afraid. If you want to visit, email me at blag91@yahoo.com. I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167060 - 12/15/05 12:34 PM

Do not be afraid. Who we are is who we are, and there is dignity in recognizing this. Being HIV+ is stigmatized, but it doesn't mean your life will be. Take care of your health, be honest about your status, and be honest about who you are. We have every right to live proud and fulfilling lives.

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scared77
Regular

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 34
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167078 - 12/15/05 04:15 PM

how do you think you got infected?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167123 - 12/16/05 08:16 AM

Hi,you are doing the right thing, finding a doc/clinic and
make sure they are good,you will know within 6 months
and you are doing the smart thing to finish school as it
will help to keep your mind occupied and my
suggestion on saying anything to anyone would be
"when the time is Right and can I TRUST them"
Good Luck and stay UPBEAT also a couple of
good sites for new people are TheBody.com
and AidsMeds.com as they both helped me along
with of course Poz mags and poz online.
you are getting good feed back on this site.

p.s. it would be nice of you to to keep us
updated since we are HERE, from a 4 yr + male

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167130 - 12/16/05 09:38 AM

just be humble its gods will have faith take stem baths,colon hydrotherapy.acupuncture session vigorous exercises gersons therapy for liver vitamins and antioxidants regularly u can remain symptom free 4 atleat 6 years

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DxAug16
Unregistered

Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167255 - 12/17/05 09:06 PM

Hi max_max. I was diagnosed in August 2005, and so far I still look and feel the same as I did before. I also know people who have been positive for 10 years and look no different. You need to see an HIV doctor immediately, however, so that your viral load and CD 4 counts can be taken. If the viral load is at a certain level, the doctor my put you on medication. That was my experience. I caught the disease right away, and started treatment early. Please don't delay seeing a physician. My family does not know I am gay either, except my brother. I was really scared at first, but now I feel pretty good overall. Feel free to respond.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: just diagnosed postive new
      #167304 - 12/18/05 03:17 PM

I broke this to my parents this week about me and my life partner being +. They were awsome, carring, understanding and most of all still Loving. They wished I did not wait the 3 months to talk to them about this. I explained that the reason why I did not tell them sooner is because I did not have all the facts and answers. Now that I know whats going on, I felt it very important for them to know. They are my parents and I am their son. I am no different today than when I was diagnosed 3 months ago. They were so happy I did not keep this to myself.

Now that I know that I will be around "No Day But Today" for quite awhile, why not let them do what they do best, support their son in anyway they feel fit to do..

Thats my experience...

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