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protecting my partner from me.
#165192 - 11/24/05 06:20 PM
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since being diagnosed after turning 17 i have only been with one negative person. i cannot be dealing with the feeling that i have to protect someone from my "evil sperm". i have adjusted well to being HIV+ it doesnt phase me in the slightest. Its gotta be better than a baby right! it doesnt expect you to clean up its shit and then leech money off you untill it leaves home as a dissapointment!! lol!
Any way, I digress. i feel if i am going to have a proper intimate relationship i can only have that with another positive person. we would both be a pillar of strength for oneanother and help through the side effects of the drugs. i just couldnt be able to deal with a negative partner having to see me like that. maybe its jealousy but i dont care. life is a terminal illness anyway(and i know hiv is a chronic infection). to live means to die. i just know how im going to leave this place.
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deeLL
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Regular
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Reged: 07/19/04
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Posts: 25
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Loc: Africa
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I COMPLETELY identify with what you are saying. Never actually realised that I felt that way till I read your post.
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jenn
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Guardian
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Reged: 09/14/05
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Posts: 325
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Please note three things:
#1 - even if you date an HIV positive person, many physicians don't recommend unprotected sex because it is hypothisized or belived that you can then adopt your partners resistences to certain drugs. So you want to keep all the drugs working for you so you will have a long and wonderful life.
#2 - You don't know how you will die. There is a very very high chance that it won't be from AIDS/HIV. Maybe in 1989 it would have, not today.
#3 - I love my baby. I adopted her. And I do change dirty diapers and am with her constantly and plan to spend all my money on her and her needs - right through college. And I LOVE it!!!! I wouldn't want a life without her:-)
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