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HIV Life >> Gay Men

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Reged: 03/04/05
Posts: 2
Loc: Wisconsin/Upper Midwest
      #137565 - 03/11/05 06:28 PM

I'm new to The Body and have been reading many of the posted messages. I wish I could give all my gay poz brothers a BIG HUG just to acknowledge your courage and share a little comfort. I've been so moved by your messages and the challenges many of you are facing. I also want to share some hope with each of you. I am a long term survivor, probably poz since early '80's, on meds since early 90's, yet just got my best test results to date. I lost my beloved partner of 15 years to AIDS, as well as my best friend 2 years later, plus a wonderful straight friend to diabetes about the same time. So I know something of loss, pain, and suffering. However, besides doing well health-wise, I have a job helping teens, which I love, plus I have a new partner of 7 years (who has ADHD), with whom I am getting closer and closer each day as we work through his disability and my abusive childhood issues. If you'll permit me, I'd like to share some suggestions based on my experiences. First, assume that everyone is positive unless you have the test results in your hands! Second, if you take your mind and imagination along, you can still have great sex (it's really about WHO you're with and not just WHAT you're doing!) . If you're depressed or stressed, fight back, because stress kills! I HIGHLY recommend a therapy called EMDR, which I think most health plans will cover. Please remember that your poz status may be bringing out hidden issues from your past, but may not be the cause. And YES, you will love again and it will be another (but different) wonderful journey of mutual discovery ! Don't make your self-esteem conditional on anything or anyone---remember the person you always wanted to be and then dedicate every day to realizing that goal as best you can. Give of yourself to others, as everyone suffers and has pain, just not all in the same way. What you see as your heaviest burden can actually be your greatest strength when you share it with another. Seek out spiritual resources so that you might experience the humbling yet uplifting joy of "unconditional love"! I believe that inside each of us is a child of a Higher Power who is SO LOVED that it is almost indescribable! Seek it out and carry it in your heart every day. Lastly, try and take life one day at a time, because that's all ANY of us are ever given. Hugs all around!

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Re: Hugs new
      #137917 - 03/13/05 05:39 PM

Thanks for the great, uplifting words! It is easy to focus on the negative in life, but a good attitude is important for us all.

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