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bfr
Member

Reged: 05/11/04
Posts: 12
Loc: Southern California, USA
How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner?
      #100102 - 06/18/04 07:54 AM

Allright, my partner is full blown and not on meds [long story] he also has a bi-polar diagnosis. He really thinks I work just to make him miserable. He REALLY thinks this, just to torture him I am working and specifically this job. [I work with the developmentally disabled population and I used to work in residential care with PWA's] So he is threatning to leave again because he says I can't act properly. Well I did slam the medicine cabinet door so hard I broke the mirror last night [to the superstitious don't worry my life couldn't possibly get worse??] Of course I was trying to get ready for work all the time getting yelled at, called unflattering names and being put down. When I heard him on the phone telling my employer off yes I did break the mirror. He is on disability and I make about fourteen hundred a month. Gee, do I need to work? I think the two of us could meet all our needs with seven hundred and eighty a month, right no problem. I want to live in a appliance box. His case manager told me to throw him out. Very helpful!! Regan is dead we don't need to throw mentally ill people out on the streets anymore and I've gone the behind his back route to his medical doctor all that does is turn the doctors off to him and he gets pushed aside and ignored. Our local AIDS alleged service agency won't even help me get any emotional help because they can't see that It's AIDS related [HELLO!?!?!?] after spending weeks debating with them I give. When I say "I'm sorry" that I have to work He thinks I'm being sarcastic [maybe sometimes I am] but usually I'm being sincere. I AM SO FRUSTRATED. Is anybody else in my position exoeriencing this sort of thing with there partner?? How are you dealing with it? If I set myself on fire in the driveway he would manage to bitch about how I had either done it wrong or who is going to clean up the mess. I of course have no health Ins for emotional help! When he threatens to leave I tell him, if this is how he really feels about me than he needs to go but he never does. If we could somehow get past all this and just deal with AIDS it would be a lot better. OK any ideas?? Suggestions anything???!!

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bfr
Member

Reged: 05/11/04
Posts: 12
Loc: Southern California, USA
Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #100198 - 06/21/04 12:38 AM

yea, O.K., so that post was at the height of the "cycle" and things have calmed down as they always eventually do. But any input on dealing with caregiving S.O. with AIDS can reach me thru this board....thanks...........or just want to share

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Matthew
Unregistered

Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #100255 - 06/22/04 03:53 PM

A friend gave me the book 'Been there, done that? Do this! by Sam Obitz and I learned to use several tools in it like the tea form to help me deal with all the anger and stress that comes with the territory. Most of our upset comes from our thinking errors we are making when we are stressed and can be easily relieved countering them in a tea form.

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bfr
Member

Reged: 05/11/04
Posts: 12
Loc: Southern California, USA
Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #100296 - 06/23/04 04:01 PM

Thanks, Matthew, I'll find it!!.........bfr

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EDDIE__VASQUEZ
Regular

Reged: 10/30/04
Posts: 35
Loc: FLORIDA
Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #113712 - 11/03/04 12:46 PM

HELLO MY FRIEND, I HAVEN'T BEEN IN YOUR SITUATION,BUT I HAD A FRIEND ALMOST LIKE WHAT YOU'RE GOING THRU.ALL I CAN SAY IS KEEP THE FAITH UP.SECOND IF THERE IS ANY TIME YOU CAN TAKE OUT OF YOUR DAILY LIFE,AT LEAST 45MNS. I ADVICE YOU TO TAKE UP TAI CHI. IT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE EVERYTHING AROUND YOU.YOU WILL FEEL DIFERENT.AND AS FOR YOUR PARTNER,I IMAGINE YOU LOVE HIM DEARLY,I SUGGEST YOU CAN BLOCK HIS NEGATIVE ABUSE,AND ALWAYS TELL HIM OF CAUSE DARLING I LOVE YOU TOO. JUST DRIVE HIM CRAZY.AND FORCE HIM TO SIT DOWN,AND HAVE HIM LISTEN TO YOU.HE MUST BE GOING CRAZY IN HIS MIND.TMAYBE THATS WHY HE'S BEHAVING LIKE THAT TOWARDS YOU.YOUR THE ONLY ONE THERE.HE'S TAKING IT OUT ON YOU.YOU HAVE SIT DOWN WITH HIM,BEFORE HE DRIVES YOU TO THE EDGE. I'LL HAVE YOU IN MY PRAYERS. YOU TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS YOU.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #132916 - 01/13/05 06:37 PM

hello this isnt just a gay problem, i have run away from my paranoid partner sending messages of love from a distance and wont see him again unless he agrees to see a doctor, its awful isnt it my sympathies, i love him and wish he would trust me... good luck

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Matthew
Unregistered

Re: How does one deal with ANGRY/PARANOID partner? new
      #139810 - 04/09/05 01:47 AM

Hey bfr, I have not been here in awhile but wanted to check back and see how you're doing? I hope life is good for you :)

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