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Past Forums (read only) >> Coping With HIV

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bobill
Newbie

Reged: 06/19/08
Posts: 1
having a hard time
      #240022 - 06/19/08 03:33 AM

I was diignoused 6months ago and i am not ok. i have kinda gone the gamit i guess, i mean i got wasted for the first thre to four months and now i dont want to do anything. i am just having a really hard time dealing with the fact that i am poz. i am really emotional and teter on the verge of depression. i guess i need some frineds to talk to about it that have gone through it. my friends are not poz and they can empathize but they dont get it you know

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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: having a hard time new
      #240025 - 06/19/08 07:51 AM

Have you considered counseling or a support group?

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Samurai
Fanatic

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 68
Loc: Texas, USA
Re: having a hard time new
      #240166 - 06/25/08 08:34 PM

I have been poz since May of 2003. When I found out I was full blown AIDS with infections. The drugs are fantastic for me, and now I'm only poz with no symptoms or side effects. I'm undetectable for a viral load and my T-cell count is over 900. If you don't know, that is real good for someone who was 700,000 viral load, and a T-cell count of 55 to begin with. Today, it is only a chronic condition to live with like high blood pressure or Diabetes. It is not the death sentence it once was. It is important to take care of yourself, and not to be self-destructive or ashame. Lots of people are positive and living very well. I know many who date others who are both poz and neg. I too was shocked at first, but got over it. Now I only remember it to take my meds, and remember my routine medical appointments. My doctor is more afraid of my smoking killing me than HIV. It may not seem like it to you, but there are far worse things to have than HIV today. For instance we can live normal lives but someone with several forms of cancer will not have that chance. Feel free to write me anytime if you want to chat. Best of luck to you guy.

--------------------
I am forever amazed at the abundance of hydrogen and ignorance in the universe.
~Albert Einstein

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besper
Newbie

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 1
Re: having a hard time new
      #240177 - 06/25/08 09:50 PM

bobill,

Iím a 22 year-old college student who happened to stumble across someone who took advantage of my intoxication at a party. I learned that I was HIV positive February of this year and my life has completely changed since. Rather than allow myself to sway into depression, I started doing the things that I enjoy in life. I surrounded myself with supportive friends (none of which are HIV positive) and realized that there is more to life than this disease. You canít allow the HIV to consume you. Wake up every morning with a smile on your face and take on the world! Granted, itís going to be a major hurdle, but in the end, youíre not going anywhere anytime soon. As long as you take good care of yourself and keep a positive outlook on life things will get better. They always do!

Best of Luck,

besper

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Anthony37
Newbie

Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 1
Loc: Phx AZ
Re: having a hard time new
      #240189 - 06/26/08 10:32 AM

I have been POZ since April 2002, Don't let this get the better of you. This is not something that will take over your life it is just a part of your life. See your doctor regularly, make sure you take care of yourself. I am still very healthy and don't currently take meds knock on wood. I do take my daily vitamins and take good care of myself my T-cells are 423 and viral load is 18,000. If you ever want to just chat feel free to email anytime even if it is just to blow off steam.

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JerryMc
Newbie

Reged: 11/24/07
Posts: 2
Re: having a hard time new
      #240192 - 06/26/08 12:28 PM

I have had AIDS since 1986, so hang in there! By the grace of God and the new meds, I am still here. I've seen many friends die and it was/is scary and depressing. I am not denying that. A POSITIVE Attitude is KEY! When you are feeling down, reach out to your friends and family; I have and it gives me the boost I need. I am praying for you. God Bless You!

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Xcharles
Newbie

Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Macon, GA, USA
Re: having a hard time new
      #240195 - 06/26/08 02:31 PM

Why the h*ll are you worried about being depressed? Be depressed. Have a major pity party! Be the guest of honor! The easiest way to get over it is to go through it. As long as you have these feelings, you're never going to be able to resolve them within yourself.

You're right when you say your friends can emphathize, but don't get it. Noone who isn't poz can understand. Seek out and go to a local support group. You don't have to share, but you should be there. Just being around others who have an idea of what you're going through can be a huge emotional support.

Your diagnosis with this disease is new. You should be allowed (by yourself) the time to be depressed. But, don't stay there. It's not Kansas and they're not serving Mimosas on the Lido deck.

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MichaelNMemphis
Newbie

Reged: 06/30/08
Posts: 3
Re: having a hard time new
      #240373 - 06/30/08 10:52 PM

1. Hang in there, being depressed is natural at this point.
2. You ARE NOT alone.
3. Try to find support in your community with an HIV/AIDS support group.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago and had a CD4 of 17 with a viral load of over 650, 000 and I spent 9 days in the hospital with the first 3 days really touch and go. But, I survived and today I am really doing well. I still have days where life really sucks and I do not want to face life. But, I get up and kick the front door off the hinges and get to living.
Remember, being POZ does suck....but only if you let it get to you.
Find support from a group, individual or even total strangers like myself.
Hang on......

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chevytexas
Regular

Reged: 06/19/08
Posts: 25
Re: having a hard time new
      #240449 - 07/03/08 05:17 PM

Buddy, I hope that some of what you've read here in replies is helping you. We have alll gone through what you are going through. My object here is to tell you that I felt that way when I was diagnosed-- in 1989. Dude, if you're a young man please trust an older one to tell you, there's more to plan for than to give up. Maybe you do have a friend, you just haven't tested that trust, who will hear your news. If not, sometimes it's best to find a support group if one is available; there are national hotlines and of course your cyberfriends out here. Still, we don't replace a local and trusted friend or resource so get out and find some. Medications may come, if your levels merit that; current meds are wonderful and indeed not as awful as they once were (I started by taking 16 tablets a day, down to a combo of a single pill, then --because my levels are very low and I'm in good health for a 58 year old fart-- no meds for now.) Life will present you with enought challenges in the normal flow; live your life, get some rest, eat and drink. Keep some friends. Trust someone, especially yourself; you have tools in your arsenal you don't know are there yet. Try one out.
Best wishes from Texas,
Chevy

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Rich_Braun
Newbie

Reged: 07/18/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Kingston, TN, USA
Re: having a hard time new
      #240768 - 07/18/08 04:29 PM

Dear BoBill,

First of all, let me say that I can TOTALLY empathize with what you are going through. I did NOTHING but cry and sleep the first year after being diagnosed. Of course, back then they told me that I only had 6 months to a year to live. When I realized that a year had gone by and I wasn't dead, I decided maybe I should try to live. Now, here I am, 23 years later, and I am still alive and kicking.

My Viral Load is undetectable. My T-cells were 1224 on my last test.

I can honestly say that having a positive attitude and supportive family and friends are priceless.

If you ever need someone to talk to, cry to, vent to, whatever, just drop me a line at akaRickalick@yahoo.com I check that account almost every day, as it's my browser's homepage. LOL

Keep your chin up. And put the bottle or drugs down.

Empathetically yours,
Rick Braun

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MichelleT
Newbie

Reged: 07/22/08
Posts: 3
Re: having a hard time new
      #240884 - 07/22/08 12:26 PM

Hey, I know what you mean about not being ok. I binged on alcohol and some drugs myself. It won't help. I became severely depressed. I am a Mother of a 4 year old daughter and my husband and I both have AIDS; not just HIV positive, but AIDS. For a long time, I was afraid to even say that word, but now I am more comfortable with my situation. We both recently were put on Citalopram depression medicine. I quit drinking and no more drugs for me either. I try to eat well and take daily walks and just talk to God and ask for his help. I have had it for 5 years and found out when I was preganant with our daughter (she is negative thanks to God and me taking meds while pregnant) I have to say that most of what made me feel bad about it was not being able to talk about it with anyone. I recently confided in my 19 year old daughter that we were both infected with AIDS. She is very supportive and understanding. Nobody else knows but our docs. I feel great and keep taking Atripla daily, take walks, eat well and drink lots of water. My advice to you is get a good HIV doctor, take your meds and see about counseling and maybe depression medicine. God bless you and feel free to talk to me anytime. I will be happy to listen and to offer any advice.

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meli
Newbie

Reged: 08/02/08
Posts: 3
Loc: st louis
Re: having a hard time new
      #241104 - 08/03/08 04:37 AM

when i was told I was poz, I was a little scared, but I looked at the doctor and asked two questions- 1) am I like magic johnson or freddy mercury? 2) what do I need to do, cause I got things to do. I wanted to binge really bad- I was so scared. but I made the decision to take contraol, and not let it control me. hang in there, things can get better if you let them.

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Rue
Newbie

Reged: 08/04/08
Posts: 1
Loc: Skippers,Va.
Re: having a hard time new
      #241122 - 08/04/08 10:29 AM

Hi bobill, just read your post and wanted to send you a quick note. Know how you feel; I was diagnosed in 1987, but didn't believe it and continued my life as if I hadn't gotten the news(big MISTAKE!), In '91 I got sick, retested HIV+. This time I believed and took action. At first I totally paniced, thought I was going to die in 3-6mos; but I found a fantastic doctor I could talk honestly with and started med.s Now 17yrs have past and I'm still in good health; just alot older than I ever imagined I'd be; and I've been in a very loving relationship for the last 10yrs,(never saw that happening). Anyway what I'm try to say is 'DON'T GIVE UP!' There's still alot of living and fun to be had in life; my best years have been the last 10. Hopefully I'll have alot more; but if not it's okay. I've already lasted and gone further than I thought possible. You can too!!! So try to calm down, take a deep breathe; Find a good Doctor and start med.s ASAP!; if I had sooner, I'd be even better than I am today; which isn't bad at all. Take good care of yourself!!!! I hope this helps you feel better. Best of luck-RUE.

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bossyspice
Newbie

Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 3
Re: having a hard time new
      #241774 - 09/02/08 10:08 PM

I can't feel what you are feeling, but when ny son was diagnosed I told myself this is what we have been dealt and I will be there for him no matter what, no matter how long. Life is precious we don't know why we have this burden to face, but try to live your life as fully as you can, if you are down call a hot line to talk to someone. They can help. Don't give up you will find your strength if you seek it.

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BrokebackCowboy
Newbie

Reged: 10/28/08
Posts: 5
Loc: {Phoenix AZ
Re: having a hard time
      #242929 - 10/28/08 12:54 AM

Hey there..I'm TC..been HIV + for 23 years now as of October 20th..although a year ago I was told I am AIDS now (because of 3 or more t-cell counts below 200)..health wise I'm doing pretty good..I know that telling you right now that everything will be OK is not gonna make you feel better..but it WILL be OK..I am a 23 year SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!..being HIV is NOT a death sentence..yes you will have some rough times..I've been through a LOT believe me..but I'm not only still alive & kicking..but doing pretty good..when I first found out at 19..(now 42)..I was told I would be dead by the time I was 22..20 years later I am still here..proof that they were WRONG...I am here for you ANY time you wanna talk..email me..I'll even call you if you would like to talk about this!!!!!
Take care & keep your chin up!!!!!
Ciao
TC

--------------------
Speak with honesty & everything you deserve shall come to you!

Edited by BrokebackCowboy (10/28/08 01:34 AM)

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