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mixed couples
Sep 24, 2013

my wife was diagnosed with hiv/aids three years ago when she was taken in to hospital with pneumonia and had a cd4 count of 50+ and viral load of 375,000. i am negative and we have recently split up 6 months ago when i found out that she was visiting bars and bringing men to our flat when i was at work. she contracted an std which the clinic informed me and i took antibiotics but it was unlikely that i had it. i later found that she had been constantly unfaithful over our 10 yr relationship. i was tested again recently and am free of the virus. she now is begging me to forgive her and take her back but she still is drinking heavily and bar crawling. she was admitted to hospital two months ago and had two units of blood given and strong antibiotics for an opportunistic infection. i do care for her and would like to take her back but all my family and friends tell me i would be mad to do this. i would greatly appreciate your opinion on this kind regards ken

Response from Mr. Chambers

I can't even find a category to put this response under. Your question is way, way outside my expertize, in so many ways. But, I will say....

If this is something you cannot talk to her about directly and calmly, then I agree with your family.

If it is something you wish to continue to consider, you should demand joint counseling before going any further and be prepared to only practice safer sex practices with her.

She really needs to get sober, and as much as you would want her to and be willing to help, she is really the only one who can make that decision. Al-Anon may be able to give you some more guidance on that.

Remember, I'm just saying to consider it rationally, carefully, and as non-emotionally as possible and seek outside professional guidance. And that is a lay person's opinion in this case, not an expert's.

Good luck, Jacques

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