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my ex who is hiv + got his new girlfriend pregnant
Nov 27, 2004

Hi Dr.

I am a 26 year old woman who became infected by my ex 1 year ago Nov 12th. My ex and I broke up and not even 1 month later he started a relationship with a nice young girl that was not infected. He called me the other day and said that a condom had broke when they had sex and she recently found out she is pregnant. What is this going to be like for her? I feel like I was more worried for her since the beginning than she was for herself. He is so selfish and doesn't even seem worried. They are going to keep the baby. I know that she can be given AZT at 3 months of pregnancy how will this be on her as far as side effects and is there any advice that you can give me? I am so emotionally torn up because I believe he knew he was infected when he was with me and I had no clue. They went to a specialist that asked them if they were going to abort the baby. What is her risk for getting infected? He was on Combivir and Sustiva and stopped taking the meds about 2 months ago and says that he is a miracle because his blood tests still came back as undetectable. Please help.. Please answer.. Thanks so much.

Response from Dr. Lee

This is a complicated situation because it is evident that you have been very hurt by his lack of responsiblity toward you. Now you are asking questions about her risk (which is dependent upon his infectivity, which in turn is dependent upon his being responsible about medicines, condoms, etc.). She may or may not require treatment, but her doc will be able to advise her on that, and you ought not to be involved in the situation, even to the extent of worry. The story he tells you about any of his tests, her tests, med useage etc. are fairly suspect as he has pretty well proven himself (if your assessment is accurate) to be a TOTAL JERK!

My advice- For your own sanity do not accept further calls from him. Tell him you wish him well (even if you don't) and that you are moving on. Do so.

If you are really feeling angry, you may want to talk to a lawyer or even the district attorney. It is illegal in many jurisdictions for a person who knows that they harbor the HIV virus in their system to have sex with another person who is not clearly informed about the HIV+ individual's status.

Most people who learn they have HIV are responsible enough that they share their status prior to having unprotected (or even condom- oops they break!) sex with another individual. Those who are not willing to be responsible, or worse (very rare), who purposefully expose others to HIV cause a great deal of harm.

Be well.


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