Dear Dr.Sharon,

Around 3 months back i had unprotected sex with a HIV+ girlfriend & she was also bleeding due to her regular cycles. After our sex act i started feeling guilty and suddenly thought of HIV danger. My worst fear came alive when she was detected positive & me negative via elisa test the very next day (she was tested twice in different labs). Since then i have been avoiding sex with my wife. I got Qualitative RNA and DNA PCR's from different Labs after 30 days. They were negative. Recently after 3 months & 4 days i got tested for antibodies elisa. IT was also negative. NOw does this confirm that i was saved & go ahead with my normal sex life with my wife or wait for another 3 months, as some suggests that elisa test after 6 months is confirmatory. I have avoided sex with my wife saying i have some genital infection, though so far i have not had any physical illness. One more problem is that when tested for Herpes she was found HSV1 antibodies positive where HSV is dormant & not currently active. I have no signs of boils anywhere near my genitals & its 3 months up. Do i also have to get checked for Herpes or it might have shown some signs on me if it would have got transmitted??? PLEASE HELP .... as my wife is getting suspicious on me for avoiding sex so far!!!

Your wife is suspicious? She is on the right track. You are not only potentially exposing yourself to several kinds of infections, but exposing her as well. Have you ever heard of ABC's? Abstain, BE FAITHFUL, and use condoms. You have not managed to do any of these (except thankfully abstaining with your wife after your foray with your girlfriend). Maybe boils would help you wake up!

As far as your specific questions: Q: NOw does this confirm that i was saved & go ahead with my normal sex life with my wife or wait for another 3 months? A: You had a negative PCR at thirty days, plus a negative ELISA at 3 months. Your chances are high (although not 100%) that you were spared from acquiring HIV. Now you might want to know how to keep it that way? ABC! Abstain, BE FAITHFUL, use condoms.

Q: Do i also have to get checked for Herpes or it might have shown some signs on me if it would have got transmitted? A: There is no real point in checking for Herpes if you've had no blisters or sores in the genital area. Usually there will be symptoms within a few days of exposure.

Be well!