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Have I ruined someone's life?
Apr 20, 2003

I was recently diagnosed as HIV positive. I was prompted to be tested when my husband received word that he had AIDS (after 2 bouts of pnuemonia this winter). Neither of us knew he was infected. But, the doctor suspected and asked that he be tested. By the time he obtained his positive reading and first CD4 and viral load counts, he`d already fallen into the AIDS diagnosis with a CD4 count of 161 and a viral load of 51,000. My husband has passed the disease to me from past years of unprotected sex and IV drug use. I have had limited physical (sexual) contact prior to this knowlege. My question surrounds the female-to-male mode of transmission. I understand that the female anatomy makes for more suceptibility to infection during sex. However, I had an affair that lasted over the recent 1-1/2 years with a male friend. He has been informed of my diagnosis and is terrified! How likely is it that I`ve passed the virus onward to my male friend? With more than a dozen occasions of unprotected sex (vaginal, anal and oral) with my friend, is there more than a 50 chance he has been infected?

Response from Dr. Aberg

I don't think one can or should take probablities or chances when one potentially may have transmitted HIV to someone. This is not an odds game to be playing on whether he should be tested or not. I strongly encourage you to have your male friend tested. There is certainly a possibility that he has acquired HIV and he should be tested promptly. Not knowing is creating more and more anxiety for both of you. As you know, getting diagnosed early is better. Please have your friend tested now.


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