My fiance was diagnosed about three weeks ago. I got tested two weeks ago and was negative ( I also tested about 5 months before. I was scared because of prescriptions found from his ex-girlfriend which he did not know about.)

I am scared to have sexual intercourse with him, but I guess I will come around hopefully. We will obviously use condoms; however I am 26yrs old with no children he already has kids. We are supposed to get married next summer, but I am scared. Are there ways for us to have children without the babies getting infected. I love him very much and want to remain together (with counseling to help us deal with it) But I am a little concerned with the possibilities of having children, is it possible....Will we have to do artificial insemination so that I dont get it and is there a way to cleanse his semen so the baby does not get it.

I am just really scared otherwise. Also do you know if there are any insurance companies that will insure someone who is positive?

I am so scared, I have to get tested in another three months, but before I tested the last time we had unprotected sex for a little (we started without protection) about a month and half before he was diagnosed. Is the oraquick a good way to test again or should I have blood work done?

We go back to get is lab results in a couple of weeks, If I test then will the results be ok if it is negative? Or should I just wait the full three months............

Thank you very much for answering my jibber jabber questions. So far I have read a lot of helpful things on your site. Your answers will be greatly appreciated.......

Thanks Scared Fiance

With two negative tests, you are likely uninfected but since you have had some ongoing exposure you should be tested at least once more 3 months after the last time that you had unprotected sex. OraQuick is fine as a screening test -- it should be followed up with more specific testing if positive.

You are understandably concerned about being infected and I would strongly urge you and your fiance to practice safe sex to protect you from acquiring HIV. There's lots of good information on this web site about discordant couples and safe sex practices (including Forums on both topics) that you might want to review. If possible, you should try to avoid becoming pregnant until your HIV status has been resolved since the risk of transmitting the virus to your baby is highest if you acquire HIV infection just prior to or during pregnancy.

You don't mention your fiance's clinical and lab results and whether therapy has been recommmended for him. Therapy will reduce (but not eliminate) the possibility that he may pass HIV to you. Artificial insemination may also lower the risk of transmission. Sperm washing (a technique in which the sperm is washed before being used for insemination) may markedly reduce the risk and has been used successfully by discordant couples but is only available in a few centers. I would urge you to ask your husband's care provider whether this is available in your area.

You ask about whether HIV positive individuals can obtain insurance. This web site has a Forum devoted to work place and insurance issues and I would recommend that you review the contents and write in with specific questions.

Good luck. I understand that this is all new for you and that there is a lot to learn and think about. Again, there is a lot of good information on this web site (and the recommended links), which hopefully will be very helpful to you.