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assisting with friends wishes with dying
Apr 12, 2007

Dr. Daar, I have a friend who stopped taking his meds and is "done with living" and is at the point of going blind, a little dimentia, won't even take cough syrup for his bronchial type cough, wants to die at home-doesn't want any type of medical care. I went last night to check up on him and he's at that point where if he's still here when I go check up on him next, I'm unsure as to what I should be doing for him other than the usual bathing and that type of care. I'm here in Los Feliz, and he's in Silverlake. He also wants to expire at home. I need some expert guidance where there isn't that overstepping of what his wishes are. He doesn't have insurance so this complicates the situation. I told him I would visit him tonight. Not sure what to do next, if he's still there upon my return. Would you please be kind enough to help me help him? Thank you so much.

Response from Dr. Daar

Hi, Thank you for your posting. I am very sorry to hear about the status of your friend. He is very fortunate to have someone like you during this time. Based upon what you have written, the best thing you can do for him is to work with other involved family and friends to make sure he is comfortable. Despite his lack of insurance there are resources available to assure that he pass in comfort. I encourage you to start with his primary provider(s) to make sure that case managers and or social workers are aware of his status and can provide you information as to what options are available for him. Other AIDS Service Organizations in the community may also provide services for him and support for you and his other loved ones.

While this is clearly a sad time, making sure that your friend knows that he is loved and supported as well as is assurred comfort in his final days is most important.

All the best. Eric

Scared of resistance

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