|losing touch with reality **help**
Feb 6, 2014
I'm dealing with so much. 4 years ago my dad was murdered. I found out I was positive a few months later, was on treatment for about 3 years. I stopped after my mom passed last year. I'm addicted to sex, marijuana, and possibly alcohol and in denial about hiv, unsure about marijuana, it helps stimulate my appetite and sleep. The psychoactive side effects seem to dramatically increase anxiety. I find myself paranoid, unable to make rational decisions...I feel like in some delirium. I'm at such a loss, facing homelessness, not caring, unable to control anger, suicidal. I need help now!!! I don't know where to go, I feel I need inpatient treatment for like 2 months to stabilize before I hurt myself, someone or do something crazy. I am in San Diego at the moment...I was on Atripla but stopped because of the psychological side effects, mainly increased anger. I am having issues dealing with my dad's murder more now and extremely defensive,
| Response from Dr. Fawcett
Thanks for writing . You have had immense amount of loss and stress. As you are discovering, numbing these feelings with mood altering drugs and behaviors only increases other uncomfortable feelings and does nothing to resolve the basic issues.
If you feel that you are in immediate danger you should call 911 for help. Otherwise one place to start is the San Diego LGBT Community Center (if you are not gay they will stlill be able to help you). Their number is 619-692-2077 x 208 (www.the centersd.org). Please call them right away.
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