|Real concern, real symptoms (I presume) long question.
Feb 10, 2014
Hi. I'm scared. Yes I can imagine how many of these sorts of peoples you get asking similar questions, I've read some threads, and I understand that being that my concern is about possible hiv infection, due to my symptoms I've been noticing, that my question loses merit, or i don't know who will respond, if any. But let me say I am not here to waste anybody's time, I find that a lot of my concerns have been answers by other threads I've read. I would just like to elaborate on my own concern, situation. I understand somewhat, being I'm not an expert, but yea I've learned a lot in recent time, dare I sag through the internet. I noticed a lot of people go nuts reading symptoms and self diagnosing, I'm trying not to be so quick on the trigger. But I can't hall but think I've been experiencing hiv acute infection symptoms. It scares me to death. Even as I'm writing this. What I know for certain is that I got a scrathy throat like 2 weeks after a sexual exposure. It was a drunken one night stand. I hate that it happen, and I've been going nuts trying to see what could've prevented me, but it's done and there is no time machine. The worst is that I'm in a relationship with a beautiful girlfriend. She lives a distance away, and just being honest I was just looking to get a night cap for lack of words ,and not trying to be inappropriate. I was at a bar, this girl recognized me , and temptation room over me. I'm ashamed. For my weakness and lack of strength not being able to walk away from it. Well I'm looking to make this brief but there are too many details to include which I find May be necessary to explain. Went to her house, got into bed before I knew it, I put on a condom so wasn't that burnt out , but still fairly sloppy drunk. Now I'm not trying make any this up build it up without reason , this is the detail I mention, started intercourse got rough , hadn't thought she was so nuts in bed. She inserted my penis in her mouth with the condom on, then back to some insertions, vaginal. Then from about to switch position, I asked for another condom cause this one was getting sketchy. So put on another, and resumed. When I should had stopped. Anyhow, she got on top of me penetrations continued. She got rough, biting me, like a real hard bite that's an understatement. I had a ridiculous mark just over my heart was like a Dracula.no joke intended. Also noticed the next morning I had some scrathes on my shoulder,back enough that they broke through. I didn't reach that come moment cause I tried not to. But also what happened is that, we both smoke marijuana fairly often lifestyle , she did was got a pipe with weed burns it inhales it, then does what's a shotgun to my mouth that I may also inhale the smoke. If was distasteful and fairly ineffective choice of smoking but she did it and I went along , this during the last scenes of inter course. Eventually it just got late late and just each drifted off to sleep. Now I apologize if this is irreverent matter , or too long a question but this is solely he manner I can ask. I didn't feel that sick or different any that soon after, but did have a generally unwell feeling the next morning. Walked home had a bit of Gatorade and forces myself to throw up. Then felt somewhat better. I know so far it's like what's he getting to. Well soon is when I noticed the scrathes, nasty bite. It was just shame and betrayal I felt. Now, it wasn't til soo n after that I started noticing irregularities.so much so they frightened me. Like a paralyzing fear you hear of. It didn't realize it yet, like noticed some dry scrathy throat coming on like 2 weeks after. Not making this stuff up. I went to see a dr. At a walki in clinic I found nearby. I had like white patching back of my throat and what I suppose is the back upper soft pallet. I saw a doc, I asked him I was concerned I might have strep throat he took a quick glance at it, and was like yup it's strep throat. I bet he had fair judgement to diagnose it he's a medical professional. He discouraged me from having a throat culture when I suggested it he just diagnosed me with augmentin. Which I learned is amoxicillin&potassium fused tablet that I took once daily every 12 hours. It didn't have an immediate effect at all. I started to get worried by this time cause I then started reading that it's mostly kids that get strep throat , he had diagnosed it some sort of pharyngitis which I guess its accurate. Just soo many things that can cause a sore throat I guess. I was hoping it'd be a bacterial infection, I started noticing it was more the virus type, just cause the antibiotics wasn't doing much a difference. So I returned like the next week, jan 27, my initial sexual encounter was dec 28th. By this time I suppose it had gotten some what better. I had visited first on January 20h. That's when I started the antibiotics When I returned the 27th he noticed oh okay here is this guy whose all super concerned. I told him my worries of a virus infection he just continually played it down like it's my worry that's got the best of me, well yeah perhaps. But that's why I go to see a doctor to hear a professional opinion. He didn't think it was hiv as I had mentioned my concerns, and I'm sure he seen my worry. But he noticed that I didn't have any puss, now I say, cause my Concerns were raised when I started off with that scrathy throat. It was white bumps on the back of my throat. Haven't usually looked in when I had sore throats in the past but I did this occurrence and the sight frightened me no doubt. But he looked in, took a second I noticed and started with this oral thrush tablet by mouth I started on. When I first went in on jan 20th I asked for the throat culture to determine the difference between wether fungi or bacteria and his unwillingness I let it go. He's like I seen enough to determine , all confident. And since I've been on antibiotics it became pointless by now this time 27th. So I got more Concerns reading that oral thrush is a symptom , or could be a sign of a more serial issue. Didn't want to think of if as such bit couldn't help it my mind got the best of me as is evident for so many others. My other symptoms by this time , include a light rash over my right side rib. Again I searched. Found disheartening info. It's not that light , more like a faint light brown or so. Some night prior or in between time I had some sweats back of my head most usually. I would get up more usually randomly at night. Could be the anxiety fear I've been experiencing since the scrathy throat. The anxiety, fear, depression hasn't seized. It could be something to, but I can't help but feel this all to coinsential. However I did have a flu shot during the first visit, jan 20, actually it was the 22of January. I went back agin cause my worries consumed me. The flu shot was just suggested in my visit so I took it. So by this time I'm on augmentin and had a flu shot, got like diarhea for like 2 days within that week. Could be the shot. January 27 week of is me still taking augmentin/ oral tablets for possible thrush. And worst fears set in about this time I seent the rash I spoke of. The doc played it down saying it's all too soon, the symptoms i would very worriedly mention to him, that I'm just noticing these things now cause I ve been worried, and reading things online. That I've had the rash for months seemed like he was getting annoyed. I'm thinking like what's the attitude I'm concerned yes, worried yeah losing my mind probably too but ain't I here to see a doctor about it that far out. Not like I'm going to a growth clerk asking these questions. If there be anybody to bring these concerns to he is fact the individual. He asked if I'd like to be refereed to an infectious disease specialist which I though yeah cause te rash is concerning. By this time I've ha an hiv test negative at 1month time. I've tested negative for gono, clah, herpies syph and idk what else. So that's another reason I get concerned. Cause it rules out those possibilities but not hiv. Sigh* Now my symptoms I'll summarize have been are, Scarthy throat white bumps that after the thrush tablets didn't have much that puss I don't look in the mirror anymore though out of fear. Also, the night sweat from time to time though not much normally may if been like a few nights that it was. Usually just back of my head. Also, the fatigue has been moderate to severe. I've been more tired than usuall, though it could be I haven't been eating so well haven't been that much appetite could be cause I've been down. Also, the skin rash I hadn't noticed before I don't know if it's been there prior but doubt it. And most recently some dizziness when I get up from a laying, or sitting position. This is within the 2nd and month time since. I can't help but think it's relative to my sexual encounter. I try to draw back think what it could be the expose from scatthes, I don't think the bite though it was the most severe bite I've had didn't bleed though. And I draw back to that incident I inhaled some the smoke from her mouth -cause she ha for a few seconds orally inserted me penis to her mouth after I had done some vaginal insertion so I consider that she may of had some fluid in her mouth from her own, and that's how I contacted some possible infection through some way. Or the scrathes perhaps the exposure. She doesn't believe she is positive, she gets annoyed that I've asked, her to get checked mentions she has had any symptoms but that doesn't meant he's clean but I can't get her to understand. Now I guess it could be the flu shot that I've lost weight within these past weeks. That it could also be why I had a two days of diahrea. The fatigue could also be for the matter, also my poor eating habits as of late cause I've been worried sick. Also could be my reason for losing weight, the stress, the anxiety, I've also stopped drinking, and smoking marijuana no more. Going to church to pray and ask for forgiveness. Just scared that it's too little to late, I'm usually a fairly positive person but I've been very down as of late my mom and sisters have noticed it when I went home this weekend. The guilt and shame is real to I been down because of it. I hope to get back to being myself soon but I can't manage yet caus of this fear. I'll have the understanding that I just got to wait and see what the tests show at 2 months and more conclusively at 3 months. But I was hoping I could hear some word of hope that' it's not what I think it is but all points to no good. This girl been sleeping around. She's sexually open to boys/girls far is I tell. What she's said to me is that she's only had unprotected sex with her boyfriend of two years, and they were both tested together before having any relations. I know she's been sleeping around probably does use condoms but I can't help to think she got it somehow.and doesn't know it. I thought to ask her to take an ocurasure yet those moth swab ones. That way I don't hve to wait to long, but I'm frightened that she is reactive. I hope it's me taking too much antiobiotics that I got the thrush, rash caus I did start taking some on my own like a week before seeing a doctor just cause I thought to along with an ibuprofen when I geotag started feeling off so took antibiotics for like 15 days bout. I don't know I'm losing it. I'm going church it brings peace. But I'm still losing it at the end of the day.
Any comments or advice, counsel is appreciated. If you've read this thank you for your time.
Response from Rev. Brown
Dear Friend: Your concerns are legit and warranted considering all that you have gone through and have been dealing with. I would say that sometimes we can develop certain rashes and things just from stress, as our bodies can react to how we feel both positively and negatively. After reading all that you have shared I would encourage you to go and get tested for HIV, as well as do a complete health screen for other sexually transmitted diseases just based on what you have shared about the individual that you engaged in sexual behaviors with, as you could have been exposed to something else as opposed to HIV. So I would encourage you to get a full health screen which I believe will bring much more clarity and ease your stress. God Speed.
My risk, very worried
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