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Sexless marriage.
Mar 18, 2013

Dear Father.I have been a widow at 21 years of,left with 3 kids under 6.My husband died of HIV,he deliberately refused medication.IBy th grace of God I remaried again and my new husband accepted my HIV and 3 children.he is HIV negative.We went on and had 2 more children medically.All my children are negative even from 1st marriege.He is a good man and takes care of us!He loves my kids as hs own.My problem is since we met,we have never had sex,reason being I donot want to infect him in any way and that he has a tiny penis.We once tried by a condom but he ddnt know what to do.He is 15 yrs older than I am but I'm his 1st.I donot want to hurt his feeling by talking about it as he gets very shy when I start trying to teach him or talk about it.After 5 years married I'm failing to hold on anymore.I don't want to leave him for my kids,they seen enough and they very stable,all his family has accepted us.i also love this man who has loved me by the love of Jesus,He is God sent.How can I keep my marriage without sex,its proving Realy difficult lately.Thank you

Response from Rev. Brown

Dear Friend: In a marriage without sex, it becomes important to find ways to still stimulate initimacy. Often times in life we see intimacy as sex, but the truth is intimacy really deals with the moments where we reveal ourselves to others unashamadely which can be done through conversation, sitting and watching the sunset, holding hands, a deep hug, a passionate or sensual kiss. The question that really needs to be answered by the both of you, is how do the two of you define intimacy for the physical needs of your marriage to be met? I think that if the two of you sit down and have an open conversation about that you can then figure out a way to get physical pleasure that will please the both of you.



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