|How to support my fiance going through the medicine
Jun 12, 2012
I meet my fiance a year ago and the same day he was in coma. He presented a varices shock in the esofago. He was in the UC for a week. The first day the doctor told me to call his family because he will not pass fron this night. It was a stong experience but he could survive and get better again. As a cause of this fact they did blood tests and they asked me if i knew that he was HIV+, i said no because i just met him some hours ago. I called his family and according to his mom, he was tested a year ago of this accident and he was negative. To make it short, he recovered from the other problem and he decided to stay in my country if i was include in his life. I like him a lot since i met him and i decide to keep ahead with our relationship. After a month we moved together and started to find some stability about jobs and money. We avoid a lot sex but in a year we maybe did it 3 or 4 times and with protection of course. He is pretty scare to pass me the HIV because he love me and he would feel very bad to cause me that problem. This year was not easy but we survive and we love each other a lot. At the begining, we were avoiding the appointment with the HIV doctor because of money issues but then when we had the money, after many delays i discover that he was scared to do it. We have a good comunication and he asked me to make de appointement for him and i did it. This week he had his visit with the HIV doctor and checking his numbers of a year ago, he told us that he has to start the treatment as soon he can. He request a blood test for today and acoording to that he will decide wich treatment. That was a complete shock for both. We were thinking that everything was good, getting a nice stability with jobs and money and we have to concern about money again. It looks like we will not have a peaceful moment anymore....i dont know. I just told him that i will be there to support him and that we will make it work. I know that he is scare to lose his job because of the side effects of the medicine. i am really lost, i dont know what to tell him or do to make him fell good or support him. Reading other histories, i know that i have to not complain about him not paying atention to me right now. He is going though a hard time because we thought that in a year or 2 he will start with the medicine, but this was a big surprise for us. I beleive on god a lot and have a lot of faith on him. He put this guy in my path, he put this guy in my life and he was blessing us this year with good jobs, a nice place to live and the support of my family in many things. By the way, just his family know about the HIV. My family doesnt know anything that he is positive, and like a latin family i dont know how would be their reactions and if the would be aggree or not to let us get married. Also, we were saving money for the wedding for the next year, and with this new that he has to start with the medicine i can see the wedding far away. That put me more sad. I love hime and i wish to have a nice family with him but looks like God wants other things to us. How i can support my fiance in this new path with the medicine. How i can get stronger to not break me thinking why me? or to not cry all the time. i just ask God more now to make me stronger in this new challenge. God sent me a nice guy to share beautiful moments but with many challenges. How can I support him and not give up? (sorry if my english is bad, but i am a native spanish speaker and my fiance is a native englihs speaker)
| Response from Rev. Brown
Dear friend: You are already doing a good job of support. As the key thing that is needed is for you to be there for him, and to keep him encouraged. Often times in life it seems like when we take one step forward there is something that tries to knock us two steps back. When this happens we must realize that it is a test of our faith, our will, and our ability to presevere in the midst of adversity. When we handle these situations the right way we find ourselves stronger spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I am glad to hear that you trust in God as it is the power of God that will see you and your fiance through this. God has the ability to provide us peace in every storm of life and I am praying for your and your fiance to have peace through this that your joy might be renewed day by day. Also the things that life tries to use to drown us, God is able to walk on and lift us out of it so allow him to lift you all out of sorrow, shame, guilt, depression, and carry you into love, joy, peace, and provision for your needs. For the meds you may want to see what kind of government assistance if any is available to him. Also speak with his doctor and see what he suggests. I pray that through this the joy of the Lord would be you and your fiances strength.
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