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how to find happiness again
Mar 27, 2012

April 2010 was given an Aids diagnosis,after testing neg in March 2009.My partner also was given an Aids diagnosis two weeks later.As it turns out he'd not been tested in nearly 10 years,and he truly believed he was negative.My health declined further and in Oct 2010 was diagnosed with an advanced NHL.Completed my 1st round of chemotherapy in Jan 2011,Became sick again in Feb and started back on chemotherapy in March.Currently still undergoing treatments.I feel sad,nolonger enjoy life,my deep love of life has gone and now left with this dark cloud above my head,i hate having this virus.I feel like my body is a living toxic dump.At times i imagion what if we hadn't meet,then i would be going through this nightmare.Then feel a deep sadness because that means he'd be alone going through this,he already feels a sense of guilt,blame for my illness.So i can't express why i feel sad,i don't want him to feel guilty.How do you find happiness again and rebuild your life.I don't want anymore drugs,as it is i feel so toxic from all the medications.I just want to be me again.Thank you.

Response from Rev. Brown

Dear Happy again: Happiness can be an elusive thing to find when life throughs us tough situations. Even though happiness can be elusive it can be caught which is good news. As you look at all you and your partner have been through and both of you are still alive and have each other is something to be happy about. Even though you are dealing with the meds, and treatments, you all still have another day to enjoy life and each other. Happiness can be found when instead of looking at what is wrong we begin to count the number of blessings we have. Happiness is a state of being that we choose to have inspite of the obstacles that life puts in our way. Happiness can be found in a beautiful sky, a hug, time well spent with a loved one, enjoying the laughter of friends, praying and leaving our cares and troubles with God, enjoying a walk, or sitting and reading a good book. Though their are challenges that you face make each day a day where you choose to find happiness in the midst of all that is going on by first seeing the blessing that is found in another day, which gives you an opportunity to enjoy all that comes with it.

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