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Guilt and grief destroying my life
Oct 4, 1999

Dear Father:I have absolutely let my guilt over a one-night-stand and the grief over losing my fiance because of it destroy my life. Besides the incredible fear that I put myself and him at risk for HIV, I feel like I can't cope with the loss of what was the most beautiful relationship I have ever had. I will take a test for the HIV next week but I all I can seem to do in the mean time is worry and cry over breaking his trust and losing his love. He says he still cares for me and although I am not Catholic, he is, and he suggested I talk to a priest. Could you please help me?

Response from Father DeMartini

Dear Friend, Thank you for your honesty and sharing your loss and grief so powerfully with me. I hope that as you face your pain and loss you will continue to find ways to expess this sadness and confusion so that it does not consume you. Also, I hope that you will strive for forgiveness--ask God as the source of love and compassion to manifest healing and hope for you; also strive to believe that you a forgiveable and that any unloving choice you made before can be replaced by healthy, caring choices and finally try to ask for forgiveness and acceptance from your friend so that he can be invited to move on from the hurt and pain you both face. I will keep both of you in my prayers. Fr. Rod



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