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sexless marriage?
Dec 23, 1999

I recently ended a relationship with a very special man, whom I still love very much and still love. The reason: I do not want to have sex when I get married. He was very serious about the relationship and he had hoped that we could grow and I would change my mind, but I am adamant. I had never been intimate before, and although I loved him, our expereinces of kissing etc. were so scary to me. I never wanted those t ypes of experiences and I am absolutley terrified of having sex. I want to be with him so much however, for the rest of life. What can I do?

Response from Father DeMartini

Dear Friend--Thank you for your question. I suggest that you consider bringing your fear about sexual intimacy in marriage and the separation that has resulted with your friend to a counselor. Perhaps the fear is related to something that you really cannot describe or work through with this special man you still love and if so it would only cause more pain for both of you. If you need some suggestions about possible counselors in your area you can e-mail me at and I can try to offer a referral. You are both in my prayers, Fr. Rod

Scared to death
need help from father

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