|What Am I doing to myself?
Aug 27, 2000
When I was in middle school, somehow, through experimentation, I ended up masturbating. It became a habit and for a long time, I never thought twice about it. I have gone through periods when I stopped, but recently started again on a regular basis. It is very hard for me to stop. I am engaged to be married in two years, and haven't mentioned it to my future wife due to embarrassment. Do you have any suggestions for controlling and stopping this habit?
In need of help.
| Response from Father DeMartini
Thanks for writing to me and being honest about what many understand to be a common activity as a part of sexual awakening and experimentation. However, you are expressing what can be a debilitating experience which can negatively affected personal growth and relationship. I suggest that you find someone who can provide some counseling help and is able to help you listen to the thoughts an feelings that arise and open the door to masturbation. Hopefully they can help you move beyond shame and attitudes which could affect your relationship with your fiancee. However, I also hope that you and your fiancee can also talk about fears and personal foibles as well as all the wonderful aspects that you see in each other. She may be a wonderful support in helping you move beyond the secrecy and shame you now feel. I will keep you in prayer and if I can help you find such a counselor please contact me directly at ncan.org. Blessings, Fr. Rod
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