Dear Rev. DeMartini, I'm a young man who really got lost last year after difficulties with my fiance. I went outside of the relationship and put us both at risk for Hiv. Since that time I have been going to churh and praying a lot. We both tested negative for Hiv since then but I'm still afraid of Hiv. I think I'm still in shock about what I did. I know God has been watching over us but I sometimes feel that He is angry with me. I'm even part of a new perpetual adoration program at our local church. I'm hoping that through this I will overcome my fear and guilt and return to Jesus. Can you give me any advice about how I can deal with my feelings of fear and guilt? Any prayers or petitions that might help me?

Dear Friend--Thank you for your very honest testimony and question. I believe that Scripture shows us a God who is love and who simply wants us to be the gift he created us to be. Even when we do something unloving to ourselves or another person, God does not get angry in a vindictive way. Good invites us to seek forgiveness--first from anyone we have hurt, the willingness to forgive ourselves and then to seek reconciliation through the sacrament of penance. I invite you to consider those opportunities for yourself. I do have a beautiful icon of Mary entitled "Mother of God, Light in All Darkness" which I would be happty to send to you--it also has a wonderful prayer to help us when we feel afraid. If you would like one--please e-mail me at ncan@sonic.net. I will keep you in my prayers. Fr. Rod