Dear Father DeMartini,

My best friend and her husband were diagnosed with HIV today. I want to be a positive support for them and their children. They don't know how to tell them. I am their Godmother. I am so sad...and scared. She is healthy, but he is pretty sick. He is losing his sight, as well as rashes and his skin is so dry it is cracking in places. I have been praying for answers, but I just can't get beyond thinking that my best friend has been served a death warrant. How can I be strong for them in their time of need? Please help...

Thank you,

Shawn

Dear Shawn, Thank you for your letter. Your sense of grief and frustration is very clear as is your commitment to stand with your best friend and her husband and children. She and they are fortunate to have your love and caring even though you can't take away the suffering they are facing. Simply standing with another person and being there to listen, to help with simple needs or just to be silent and present when they feel alone or afraid is a great gift. Finding the right words will come when you simply speak from your heart. Also, be aware of any resentments or anger you may have toward any of those involved so that this doesn't get in the way of your desire to be there for them in the days ahead. I keep you and them in my prayers, Fr. Rod