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I am fearful of not going to heaven
Jan 8, 1999

ftr. demartini. i hve been positive for 4yrs. i feel i have damaged my live beyond limits. i feel very doubtful god willtake me in his arms when i die. i just cant seem to forgive myself for my past. it haunts me. its funny, i watch "touchedby an angel" religiously and it seems so simple. are we reallyforgiven that easily? i think not. i would love to believe it some day.thanks john

Response from Father DeMartini

Dear John--Thank you for your very honest letter. You ask if forgiveness is simple. I believe what St. John said--God is love and it is natural for God to accept our remorse and desires to improve our lives. God certainly would not have sent Jesus to die for the remission of our sins if God weren't serious about extending forgiveness! The more complicated part about forgiveness is believing that we deserve it. I guess it is because it is often hard for you and me to forgive others completely and freely and so we think that God has the same reluctance. I hope that you have someone near you whom you could talk to about the hurts, guilt, shame you bear---we have the sacrament of penance to help us let go of these burdens and accept the freedom to move on which the words of absolution bring. If you want to contact me at ncan@sonic.net I may be able to recommend someone in your area to speak with. In the meantime, I will keep you in my prayers that soon you will be able to really believe in and experience God's love for you and that you will understand the words: "Come to me all you who labor and are burdened and I will give you rest." God bless and keep you, Fr. Rod



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