Dear Fr. DeMartini;

I can't seem to find any reason for going on. I am tired of medications, tired of feeling sad and lonely, I so much want god in my life and continue to turn a deaf ear. Why do I desire something so much and refuse to seek it?

Dear Friend----Thank you for your very honest question. I cannot know the unique answer for you but I sense in your few words a sense of depression and the burden of illness and medications. Sometimes these things block communication--even as we want to listen to others and to God. Remember that the apostle St. Paul talked about his own struggles in which he admits that while his heart and spirit want to move in one direction, his mind and will move in another. I would encourage you to find a friend in whom you see a spiritual dimension who can walk with you and perhaps help you listen to God in the midst of the burdens you bear. If you want to contact me at ncan@sonic.net I may be able to recommend a spiritual advisor in your area. In the meantime, I keep you in my prayers. Fr. Rod