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Lost friend
Dec 13, 1999

Dear Father DeMartini , I am crying as Im writing this letter to you . My close friend had HIV since 1987 and AIDS since 1993 . He had severy neuropathy in his feet and could not walk . He has battled lymphoma twice , PCP two times , crypto , MAC and many other infections during the course of his disease . His medications stopped working and he was told he was resistant to most drugs . Last week he took an overdose of percotte and died in his sleep . He was a lovely man ,a warm caring human being . He had a great sense of humor and he was kind and compassionate . His smile was beautiful . Please Please tell me he didnt go to Hell . We were taught growing up that was Gods punishment for leaving in despair and rage . Can't God overlook the final act and instead see into the heart of the person , and the love he brought to this place while he was alive ? Please Help me

Response from Father DeMartini

Dear Friend, First of all I am to express my support for you in the midst of this tremendous grief you are feeling. I apologize also for the time it has taken me to respond as I have been dealing with the loss of my mom who was very special to me and taught me a lot about trust in God. I believe that the qualities you remember in your dear friend are godly qualities and that your friend (and my mom) now know the fullness of God in eternity. We do not know what thoguhts and fears may have finally motivated the overdose but I believe that one of the truest things we can say about God is that God is love and God is compassionate. We place judgement into God's hands and we need to pray that we can be healed of fear and hopelessness that may get in the way of our grieving the loss of those we love deeply. Let us pray for each other in that spirit. Blessings, Fr. Rod



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