The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Spiritual Support and HIVSpiritual Support and HIV
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

May 20, 1998

Dear Father DeMartini, My brother was diagnosised HIV AND FULL-BLOWN AIDS at the same time. He was very ill and had to come home for care. My father does not know he is GAY. It has been six months and my father cannot get past his anger. He still does not know about being GAY. As a very staunch RC I've explained to Dad that my brother unfortunately contacted AIDS and that my father's nieces and nephs luckily only received babies. What can I say to my father in a spiritual way that can help him except my brother's illness without prejudice and extreme anger. I think that my father's anger is not helped by our church's non-acceptance of sex in general. P.S Keep in mind that my Dad's is 70 yrs old and quite stubborn ie: He won't miss mass even with puenmonia. Also Mom is stuck in the middle.

Response from Father DeMartini

Dear Friend with an Angry Father:

First of all I apologize for the delay in responding. I have experienced a number of family members/parents who respond with anger to the news that their child is living with AIDS--often compounded when there is further disclosure about being gay. I find that the anger is often rooted in fear--fear of losing their child, fear of what cannot be controlled or taken away -- as well as sadness for what they may feel has been a lack of attention or direction on their part as parents. I have recommended that parents read the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke's Gospel which is really as much about the father as the son. I would invite your dad to focus on the reality that this is his child who is sick and to invite him to pray--not only for his son but for strength and wisdom to know how to communicate as the father in the Gospel story. I would also be very happy to talk with you or dad on the phone--you can call me at 707-874-3031. I will keep you and your family in me prayers. Fr. Rod

starting a new life
ready to die but afraid of going to hell

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint