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Controlled by Fear
Dec 13, 1996

I had relations with a woman in the beginning of 1992, I was tested for hiv in the middle of 1993. In the summer of 1994 I had another opportunity (but very low to no risk) of getting hiv. In the last month or two I have been sick or not felt 100% physically. I had strep throat, and then a couple of weeks later have pneumonia. Now on the back of my tongue it is off white and there are bumps that are there (on the back of my tongue.) Do I have any reason to be afraid? I am very afraid. I know I need to get tested, but I really don't know if I can go through getting tested again. Last time I was tested it was for the military, and I had no choice, plus I wasn't worried about it like I am now (since I have been sick and everything). I wish I could get that comfort I had at one time. I guess I need to start putting my trust in the Lord, and find out what is wrong with me. Thanks so much for a response to my question.

Response from Rev. Pieters

Please see a doctor as soon as possible, and share with the physician the concerns you have shared with me. Take the test. If you go to an anonymous testing site, they will provide you with professional counseling before and after your test, to help you through the fear you are experiencing. You will always live with that fear until you take the test. Do it now.

Yes, trust in the Lord. Jesus says in Mark 5:36, "Do not be afraid. Just have faith." Believe that God is with you, that God loves you and wants you to get through this fear. God will be with you no matter what your test results are.

For additional reflections on this topic, please read my Column #5: "Fear and Faith." Also check out my answer to "On Finding Strength."

God will give you everything you need to face your fear and this situation. So start taking action, and at the same time, let God in, and trust in God's will for your life.



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