My boyfriend's daughter has been tested positive for HIV. She is only 16 and contracted the virus from a blood transfusion. Obviously her Dad is upset and depressed. How can I help him? What kind of things can I do to support him and his family? I feel like an outsider but I really care so deeply for them all.

Then care for them! Caring for them could mean many different things, depending on their needs.

Do a needs assessment: ask yourself "What are their needs?" and "How can I help them with those needs?" You state that "her Dad is upset and depressed." He, as well as his daughter, probably need to express those feelings, and may need comfort, reassurance, and hope. Fear and depression are a normal reaction to a diagnosis. So support them in their feelings. Acknowledging and dealing with your feelings is an important part of living with HIV.

One of the ways to support someone in the wave of feelings that comes with diagnosis is to educate yourself, which you apparently are already doing. Find out how others have learned to live with HIV. You might want to read and share my articles, Choose Life, Spiritual Strength For Survival, and So You're Going To Live. These articles describe helpful techniques to cope with life with HIV, partly based on my own experience of living with HIV over the last 15 years.

The despair of an HIV diagnosis is sometimes based on the assumption that HIV means an imminent, painful death. Today, people with HIV can live long and well if they can access, afford and tolerate the current combination treatments. Doctors have also made tremendous progress in preventing the opportunistic infections that used to kill those of us with HIV quite quickly. This knowledge can effectively combat the fear and despair of diagnosis.

Don't be afraid to be there for your boyfriend, his daughter and family. Your quiet, steady and hopeful presence can go a long way towards healing and sustaining life. I hope that you will find helpful advice in the many articles here at The Body. God bless you all on your journey together.