Dec 31, 1997
What constitutes a loss of virginity? What does the Bible say about it? I gues
what I'm trying to ask is, according to the Bible, how far can you go and stll
be a virgin?
| Response from Rev. Pieters
A virgin is someone "who has had no sexual intercourse," according to the Interpreter's Dictionary of the Bible (Volume 4, p. 787, Abingdon Press, 1962). If a person has had sexual intercourse, then he or she could never be considered to have had no sexual intercourse before. Some people think that proof of virginity is an unbroken hymen, but hymens are often broken before a woman's first experience of sexual intercourse, through bicycle riding, horseback riding, or similar activities. But if the woman has never had sexual intercourse, even with a broken hymen, she is still a virgin.
The Bible says nothing about how far a person can go and still be a virgin, that I can find. Technically, I suppose, a person could engage in heavy petting and kissing, and as long as there is no penetration, then that person could still be called a virgin. But the spirit of the definition seems to include sexual innocence, and if a person has done everything but vaginal or anal penetration, they could hardly be considered sexually innocent.
Discussing virginity is a complex issue. Sex is a good thing... we were created sexual beings by God. God gave us our sexuality as yet another way of expressing love and caring. But with the joy of sex comes responsibility. We are each responsible to use our sexuality in loving, caring ways. We are responsible to keep ourselves and our sex partners safe from disease, and unwanted pregnancy. Refraining from sexual intercourse is the surest form of birth control and disease prevention. But that is not a realistic choice for some people. Those of us who are sexually active share a responsibility to always use latex condoms to avoid HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
Whatever you choose, remember that God loves you and understands you. God wants the very best for you, and will be with you through it all.
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