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Where do I go from here?
Sep 12, 1997
First I would like to say that Rev. Pieters, you are an inspiration.
Reading your personal information renewed my hope that my dear friend
can beat this disease. I only recently met this man, he has been HIV+
for some time and was diagnosed full-blown early this year. He has
participated in all 5 American AIDS Rides this year & appears to be in
incredible health. I volunteered in one of the Rides & have not been at
peace since. I have developed intense feelings for this person and do
not know where to begin dealing with them. The sense of urgency to save
his life met with the intense frustration that I can not do so has
overcome every part of my life. The sadness is ever-present. After
searching for information, I remain uninformed. Where do I begin? Why
has God lead me to this person who I know will suffer immensely while I
watch helplessly? I feel so lost.
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Response from Rev. Pieters
The person living with HIV whom you describe sounds to be in incredibly
good health, if he did the recent AIDS rides. Why are you so sure that
he's going to "suffer immensely while I watch helplessly"? Many people
with HIV and AIDS are doing very well on the latest treatments, and
there's every reason to believe that we will continue to do well! There
have been so many advances made in the treatment of HIV and the
prevention of opportunistic infections, that I'm surprised to read of
your despair. Perhaps there is some factor in his health you have not
shared.
Even if he does get much sicker, you can still be an enormous support
and help to him. You won't feel nearly as "lost" when you get down to
helping in concrete ways, assuming he needs the help. The best way to
turn hopelessness into hope is to get active. Start doing things!
Action does not only equal life, it equals hope.
None of us have any guarantees that we will be alive tomorrow. All any
of us have is today, this moment. So in this moment, choose to feel
hope. Decide to be actively helpful. Take a positive attitude towards
your friend. We don't know what the future holds, but right now, we can
do everything possible to create a quality life, to heal, and to be
fully alive, even in facing a life-threatening illness.
Let me know how things are going, and God bless you both!
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