I also struggle with faith and denial. In reading the New Testament there were times when Jesus healed individuals without them having to first depend on drugs to work for them. For example the woman with the issue of blood for 12 years inwhich doctors couldn't do anything for her. But when she touched the him of Jesus garmet she was made whole.

I refuse to take any drugs for my condition because I know that by faith alone Jesus can heal. But then sometimes I feel the spirit of discouragement that makes me wonder if whether or not Jesus has truley healed my body. I have been back in forth with this for two years now. I have even fasted while given all of my issues to him and have turned around and placed all of my burdens back on me.

Just like Peter when He was asked to walk on the water to Jesus and trust that he would not let him sink. Jesus didn't first expect Peter to swim to him. He asked him to do the hardest part which was to walk to him across the water with faith. When Peter started loosing faith he began to sink and then he regained his faith again.

I believe if I maintain strong faith along with prayer and fasting that I will recieve my blessing for healing. Depending on a medicine, that hasn't been 100% proven to work, before depending on God seems a little backwards. How can he get the glory if we believe that it was the medicine that healed us. Somethings such as this he wants us to allow him to do the work so that he alone can recieve the glory.

I have asked the Lord to renew my Faith and the right spirit inside me.

God Bless

In my own experience of surviving AIDS/KS and lymphoma, it took a lot of faith in God's healing power to prepare for and endure some of the treatments which saved my life. I do not see faith in God's healing power as mutually exclusive of medical treatments. I believe that God uses physicians, nurses, and treatments in healing people. That has certainly been my experience, and the experience of countless people of faith.

I have known a lot of people who have died quickly from the complications of HIV because they thought they would be "healed by faith alone." When I was first diagnosed in 1982, there were no treatments, and we HAD to rely on faith alone, and most people did die quickly.

When treatments started becoming available, many of us living with AIDS back then saw the new treatments as answers to our prayers! Treatments can be scary. Side effects do happen. But my doctor taught me to see the unpleasant side effects as signs that the drug was working, that healing was happening!

You refer to the story of the woman with the 12 year hemorrhage who was healed by her faith in Jesus. The gospel tells us that prior to that she did everything she possibly could, and spent all her money trying more customary (for those times) methods of healing. One point that perhaps you missed in the story: she was not a passive recipient of a miracle. She was busy for 12 years on her journey towards healing. Jesus says to her, "Your faith has made you well." Perhaps he was referring to the fact that she had actively and faithfully done all she could, using the best means of the time, in preparation for the healing touch of God which she finally experienced. Maybe her twelve years of searching for an answer was all part of the faith that made her well.

I believe that we must use all the resources that God makes available to us. If we don't, are we really being good stewards of all God has given us? We are active partners with God in our healing... we are co-creators of our wellness. Please don't just sit back and wait for a miracle. Faith calls for action!