What can we use?
Feb 14, 2007
My husband and I are positive. We've been using condoms since we learned of our status. I am on ARVs but he is not yet. Our problem is we have lost the urge of making love. We love each other so much but can now stay for upto five months without sex. When we want to do it, I immediately become so cold and very dry until my husband just can't continue enjoying himself, and neither can I. We normally have our balanced diet every day and supplements sometimes. What are we lacking or can you please let us know what to use.
Response from Dr. Conway
This is a complicated question. Much of what you describe relates as much to relationship issues as to HIV. I would first have a discussion with your husband about what is bothering you and what is making you cold and dry. If it is just a matter of being dry, this can be overcome with lubricant. HOwever, I think the issue is deeper than that, and it may be something as simple as you wish he were on ARVs so his load would be undetectable, his CD4 count improve and he have good long-term health. It may be that as long as he is off treatment, you are at risk of catching his virus, for example. This is starts by the two of you talking in an open and non-judgemental way. Good luck...
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