Please Help! I am a 34 year old male in the military, married with two beautiful kids. About 10 weeks ago while on a temporary assignment I cheated on my wife with a woman I met. (I'd never cheated on my wife before) The cheating involved kissing and fingering, I stopped myself as we were rubbing genitals and getting ready to have intercourse. (this only lasted for 10-15 seconds and there was no penetration) I've been very stressed out since then, I told my wife immediately and she forgave me, but now all I can think about is that I have hiv and I've ruined my whole families lives, at 7 weeks I tested negative but shortly after I got diarrhea which still persists off and on, my doctor tells me that it's just stress. Can you please give me your views on my chance of infection? This is controlling my every thought and affecting my ability to function in any capacity, Thank You

You are at very low risk for infection. Testing negative at seven weeks is a good sign, but three months would be more accurate. However, I would not even recommend testing in your situation. Please refer to the following links for more information about your risk:

What are the risks from fingering someone?

Newest information on deep kissing.

Grinding, hand job.

Sometimes feelings of guilt can persist for people in your situation. It makes sense that you would panic about losing or hurting your family in some way, maybe even permanently. But your wife forgave you, giving you the opportunity to move on and understand more about what happened. Focusing on HIV does not deal with the core issues you are facing.

Good luck.

RMK