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Going Insane
Dec 24, 1996

In 1994 I had an aids test which was negative. In March of 1996 I had unprotected vaginal sex with a girl I knew for about 6 months. This was my only unprotected act since the hiv test in 1994. I was engaged to be married in June of 1996 (to a different girl) and suddenly got the fear I was hiv positive. I had another hiv test in June and it was negative. Since then I have been absolutely consumed with the fear that I am hiv positive. I have been to several different doctors for various types of tests (not hiv) and all was negative. I have since been diagnosed with anxiety and phobia of getting aids. I am seeing two psychartrists and I am on 40mg of Prozac. I cant get it out of my head - I cannot deal with waitingf or taking another hiv test. (When I had my last test I missed a week of work waiting for the results because I was so scared). I have absolutley no reason to suspect this girl was hiv positive. I cant take this anymore - I feel like signing myself into a mental i institution. When I mention aids or hiv to the doctors i've been to thet basically laugh. I know it was only 3 months after my risky behavior but do you think this was long enough? PS- I have been dizzy, tired, i have an earache and allergies - i have trouble sleeping at night- all the doctors told me this is from anxiety. Please help me.... do you think unconsciously I dont want to get married? What are my chances of being HIV postive. You are my last resort. Thanks............- about to commit suicide in NY.

Response from Mr. Sowadsky

Hi. Thank you for your question.

Your last sentence says it all. Speak to your psychiatrist immediately, or call a suicide prevention line, or go to a mental health facility immediately. Your immediate concern is not an AIDS issue, it's a mental health issue. Before concerning yourself too much with whether you have HIV or not, your present problem is your mental health status. Put your time and effort into solving this first. You may not even have HIV, but you do have a mental health problem that needs to be addressed immediately. If you read the question entitled, "I had a HIV test", this will answer your HIV test questions. However, I strongly urge you to put your efforts into solving your mental health problems first and foremost. This should be your top priority right now.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact the Centers for Disease Control at 1.800.232.4636 (Nationwide).



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