Hi,I am a 30 yr old married male,who up until very recently had not acted on the urge to see what it would be like to have a sexual encounter with another man.I met this man,whom I didnt really know.I wont get into the specifics.We had what you would call mutual masterbation.I stroked his penis and he stroked mine.Neither of us ejaculated.We just fondled eachother and stroked eachother.I had no cuts or scrapes on my penis.MY concern is that I have read that you can get aids through your mucus membranes.I know the head of the penis is a membrane,and I read that if you are curcumsized that the membrane becomes more skin like.I need to know if any of his pre cum was on my hand and I stroked my own penis or rubbed pre cum from the tip of my penis,is there a chance that I could become infected.I do not know if this person was or wasnt infected.I am married with a wonderfull wife and 4 yr old son.I dont know what I was thinking at the time.I was curoius and now I am devasted by this.I look at my son sleeping and cry thinking that a stupid curiousity could leave him fatherless,and even though I have great regard for my life,I feel that I have no right to even make it possible for my son to grow up without a father.I will never do that again.The guilt and nerves are to much to bare,and I dont know where my mind was,because why wasnt I thinking about this when it was happening.I am afraid to make love to my wife,thinking that she does not deserve to be infected even if the chances are remote.Do you think I am overreacting and that I am feeling more guilt then fear of the disease.I would love for you to tell me that there is no chance of infection at all,but im sure you cant do that.Do you feel that I need to be tested.If so I dont know how to try to not have sex with my wife for 3 months.I know this is a very long question,but I am desperate and need a direct response even though I have read most of your answers on this subject.I need your help to have peace of mind for myself and my family.

There is no evidence that HIV is spread through mutual masturbation. Sexual transmission of HIV is known to be spread through the following three ways:

1) Anal sex, receptive or insertive

2) Vaginal sex, receptive or insertive

3) Oral sex, receptive fellatio or insertive cunnulingus (transmission to the person whose mouth is on the genitals)

If your sexual behavior does not fall into any of the above categories, then it is EXTREMELY unlikely that you will become infected through sexual contact.

During mutual masturbation, you should avoid using your partner's sexual fluids (vaginal secretions, semen, or blood) as a lubricant on your genitals. This would increase the chances of infected fluids coming into contact with mucous membranes. It's always possbile that some fluid will come into contact with your mucous membranes during mutual masturbation, but that does not seem to be a significant risk for infection (since we never see transmission happen this way). Testing is not recommended in cases like yours.

It's okay to want to experiment sexually with a person of the same sex. It's also okay to do it. It sounds like this has brought up some conflict for you in the context of your marriage. I would encourage you to find someone to talk with about the conflictual feelings that you are experiencing.

RMK