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Sexual preference ?
Sep 17, 2001

Dear Ryan. Thanks for the good work. I usually read this forum to gain more knowledge on HIV and Aids matters. I am a bi-sexual guy who loves to enjoy safe sex with my partners. However, with the fears of HIV, I am now forced to have sex with opposite gender only---Female. If I have sex with man, I am the receiver of anal sex. I read from the information, even having safe sex, (Oral, Vaginal, Anal) with condoms on, the gay man still have a higher chance in getting HIV, especially the receiver side. I am suffing emotional depress, since I cannot enjoy the sex that I like, please advice.

Response from Mr. Kull

Gay and bisexual men are not genetically predisposed to HIV infection just because they like to have sex with men. Latex condoms that do not break, tear or slip off during anal and vaginal sex are highly effective in preventing HIV transmission for everyone, regardless of their partner's gender or their sexual activity. If you use condoms for anal sex and they remain intact, then your risk for infection is almost zero.

It is important that you find ways to satisfy yourself sexually while remaining as safe as possible. While it sounds like you have managed to have safer sex, your anxiety is getting in the way of having sexual contact with men. Men who have sex with men (at least in the United States) are at greater risk for coming into contact with HIV infected people than their heterosexual counterparts, which can lead to negative psychological reactions. It is important that you acknowledge that fear and find ways to manage it in your life, as opposed to letting the fear control your life.

Talking with others who are familiar with these issues can be extremely helpful. Whether it is a friend, a support group, or a professional, do your best to talk about your fears and frustrations.

RMK



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