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Unprotected Sex with One Person

Jul 12, 2000

I am a male age 60. I have been divorced for two years. I dated a lady from January to May before we broke it off. She has been widowed for two years. Neither of us has had another sexual partner except for our former spouses. We had unprotected sex during the months we dated (Jan-May). I assume that if I want to have sex with another lady in the future I will need to protect myself and her. My basic question is, what do I do if I meet someone and we decide to marry? What then? How "safe" am I? How can I find out? Thank you.

Response from Mr. Sowadsky

The best way to determine if you are HIV-infected is to get an HIV antibody test. It is impossible to diagnose your HIV status based only on the information you've given. If your wife was HIV negative during your entire sexual relationship and you don't have other risk factors (sharing injection needles, occupational exposure, blood transfusion) then you would not have HIV.

Your assumption about protecting yourself and your partners in sexual relationships is a wise one. Using a condom is the best way to do this. Condom use can help reduce your anxiety about HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

Try talking to your future partners about HIV and your sexual activity. Many people are not used to talking to their partners about sex, but those who do often find it useful. And if you both want to be sure about your HIV status, you and your partner can get an HIV antibody test through your local health department.

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