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Finger With Swinger?

Oct 31, 2018

Hello Damon . I m woman . I went to a swinger party with my friend . There was this man with his girlfriend. He just fingered me for about 1 minute max with only half length index finger inside my vagina . And that was it .nothing more nothing less . Since it was dark I cud not see his finger had any wound / Precum / vaginal secretion / blood or any other kind of fluid . I am scared for If he was having some fluids on his finger from someone else before me in party , can get any HIV or any STD ? I m very afraid and scared . Please please help me .

Response from Mr. Jacobs

Hello - thank you for writing in. I understand that an experience like this can simultaneously be pleasurable as well as terrifying. As a gay man who had a lot of fingers put inside of him during some of the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic in the early 1990s, I can promise you I've done my due diligence on this issue.

There is no risk of HIV being transmitted under these circumstances. HIV must be transmitted directly from the mucous membranes of one human into the mucous membranes of another. The virus dies immediately upon contact with the air and cannot be transmitted casually through hugging, kissing, fingering, rubbing genitals, sharing toilets, etc.

Most STDs also die upon exposure to oxygen though a few can remain transmittable shortly outside the body. Is it technically possible that he fingered someone with Hepatitis C bleeding out of her vagina and then immediately smeared that persons blood inside your vagina? Theoretically that is possible but very unlikely. I'm not aware of any reports of someone contacting Hep C this way. As well as other STIs, it is medically possible to spread them through casual contact in this way, but extremely rare and unlikely to happen.

Nothing I say here, however, will assuage your fears as much as an actual test. When in doubt, it is wise for any sexually active adult to get routinely tested for STIs. When doing so, please make sure they are doing "three site testing," meaning they swab your throat, your vagina, and/or take urine. If you ever have receptive anal sex, then it's important you receive a rectal swab as well. The reason for this is that many STIs are 'localized', meaning gonorrhea in your throat would not show up in a urine sample.

Remember even at a swingers party, you always have a right to say 'no' to any touch or activity that you are not comfortable doing. Just because you show up and are open minded it doesn't mean that other people are allowed to do anything they want. Depending on the hosts, some rooms might be dark, but some might have light as well, so you can see your potential partners as well as their fingers/ genitals. That being said, most STIs cannot be seen in visible light, so getting regular tests is the best way to protect and take care of your body.

I hope this information allows you to relax, get tested, and enjoy the kinds of parties and pleasures you wish to enjoy. Have fun!

Is it high-risk or low-risk?
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