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Gay Sex and Anal?

Aug 30, 2018


Me and my gay partner were trying anal with condoms on but without lube as it was our first time. We are both HIV negative. As we moved on with the anal my gay partner's condom broke out while his semen fell out in my ass. I had a little blood on the linings of the anal so there is a possibility that his semen might have contacted my blood. Although I am sure we are both HIV negative, I am freaking out whether is there any chance to contact HIV in such a case?

Please help! Thank You

Response from Mr. Jacobs


Let's start by answering the question you posed directly: Can you get contact HIV from someone who is not HIV positive? No, one cannot transmit the virus if they don't have the virus. Also worth noting, you could not get HIV from a person who is HIV positive and has been undetectable for six months or longer.

You seem to be making a correlation here between having anal sex the first time and not using lube. And I'm not sure if you're talking about not using lube the first time you bottom EVER, or if you're talking about not using lube the first time when you were with this individual. Either way, I hope this experience demonstrated the importance of lube in receptive penetrative sex.

I cannot underscore this enough! Adequate lube significantly prevents the tearing of the anal lining you describe here. There is no reason for the butt to bleed during anal sex, and doing so simply suggests that not enough lubricant is being used.

In order to decrease the possibility of rectal bleeding and tearing in the future, I'd recommend making sure you are using plenty of lube prior to and during sexual intercourse. Some people find they are less likely to bleed during anal sex when their partner does not use latex and inserts his penis skin-to-skin but that's up to you and your partner to negotiate. If you prefer bottoming without condoms, then please consider using PrEP to protect yourself from HIV.

You may wish to practice bottoming with dildos as well in order to better understand your own body's limits and vulnerability to bleeding. Communication is also so very important. When in doubt, I hope you always feel comfortable telling your top to "stop," "wait," or "let's take a break," whenever you feel pain or tearing has occurred.

To learn more about ways to find PrEP globally, check out the global directory of providers at : .

If you wish to learn more about PrEP, and discuss experiences and receive information from around the globe, please join my Facebook "PrEP Facts" group at .

I hope this information helps you to relax and make informed decisions about how to share your body and enjoy sexual pleasure. Anal sex can be an enriching way to feel euphoric joy... or it could be a literal pain in the ass. Lube, communication, experience, and accurate prevention information are your keys to increasing fun and connection with others.

Rubbing face on hooker's crotch?
Dumb decisions

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