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Sex with someone who says they are clean but on PrEP?

Aug 23, 2018

U can buy prep and I have had sex with someone who is buying it for 30 quid He told me he was clean and then told me he was taking prep I'm concerned about the risks of hiv he did shoot his load

Response from Mr. Jacobs

One of the reasons why people choose to use pre-exposure prophylaxis (or "PrEP") to prevent HIV is because it puts the individual in control of their own body. For those of us who prefer being the receptive partner in sexual situations, this is the first time we have ever had complete authority over our bodies and our HIV status. When I choose to use PrEP every day, it means it doesn't matter to me what someone's HIV status is, or whether my partner says they are using PrEP or not. Their sexual health decisions do not affect my sexual health decisions. PrEP protects the person using it first and foremost.

I understand the concern in your question. How do you know if someone is telling you the truth about buying PrEP and using it correctly? The truth is, you really don't. That's why I'd say to you: If you enjoy sex without condoms and if you enjoy loads being shot inside you (as so many of us do), then you may want to get PrEP for yourself and not rely on another person's claims.

What were the risks here? I honestly don't have a way to know. If everything he is telling you is true, and he is using PrEP regularly, and he was HIV negative when he started using PrEP, then the risk to you would be nearly zero. Someone on PrEP has a less than .01% chance of acquiring HIV when they take it as directed. There are more than 356,700 people in the world currently using PrEP, and so far we only know of two people who acquired HIV with proper adherence (

I do have some feedback for you about the term "clean". You may not have meant this, but referring to someone who is HIV negative as "clean" infers that people living with HIV are "dirty." That is generally considered an insensitive and hurtful stigmatization of another's body. It is less likely to illicit the kind of honest answers and clear communication that you are asking for in your sexual partners.

You mentioned using quid in your area. As your friend has done, you may wish to buy PrEP for yourself for protection. If so, please take a look at a site specific for U.K. consumers title, "I Want PrEP Now U.K."

The only way you truly going to get an answer to your question is to get tested. I encourage you to get tested soon and then consider PrEP as a way for you be in control of your HIV protection.

To learn more about PrEP, and see global discussions in real time, please check out my Facebook group page at

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