Autistic flutternutter asked many times no answer please help me
Nov 22, 2017
I had protected sex with a Korean CSW but I forgot to clean my balls afterword which means my urethra could have touched my balls and hiv liquid could have got in... I've tested negative 6 times out to over a year after exposure but I have swollen lymph nodes under my ear for 6 months that wont go away. Can I safely rule out HIV infection despite my swollen lymph nodes? I had a bad cough a few days after sex which could have been a seroconversion illness.
the exposure happened 2016/07/29 and my last test was 2017/10/24 and was negative
HIV Ag/Ab Combo 0.19/N Neg(<1.0)COI
i read conflicting information that hiv dies within seconds outside the body but it could also be several hours, keep in mind my penis didnt get wet but it may have touched my wet balls so idk anymore
Response from Mr. Jacobs
First of all, thank you for showing me a new word. After two decades of practicing sex-affirmative therapy, and teaching about sexual health and HIV prevention around the U.S., I have been unaware of the term "flutternutter." I'm still trying to find a correct description, so please help me out here.
Regardless of what it means, there is still no risk of HIV from the incident you are describing. You say you had protected sex with your partner, but you don't offer details as far what you did. Quite frankly, it doesn't matter, because there is still no risk from what you're describing. Even if your partner somehow spread semen or vaginal fluids that contained large quantities of detectable HIV all over your balls, and you rigorously rubbed your urethra all over those fluids, you still would not have acquired HIV from this activity.
Although HIV can technically live outside the human body for a few minutes, it will not remain strong enough to transmit HIV into another body after a few seconds exposure to oxygen (http://www.thebody.com/content/78184/how-many-minutes-will-hiv-survive-outside-the-body.html). It must be transmitted from the mucous membranes of one person directly into the mucous membranes of another. Again, I'm not seeing any moment where that could have happened in the question you are asking.
The other, and perhaps most relevant issue here, is the fact you are testing HIV negative. Fifteen months after this no-risk sexual interaction took place, you are struggling to accept the medical results as valid. This suggests to me that the issue here isn't really about HIV risk, but more about guilt and shame related to pleasurable sexual activity.
Quite often if we have been socialized to believe that sexual expression is immoral, sinful, or pathological, we may experience terror and anguish after a pleasurable sexual act occurs. It can then be very hard to believe those negative test results, as they are at direct odds with the belief that sexual pleasure MUST result in physical punishment. The body can then respond by producing a number of psycho-somatic symptoms including swollen lymph nodes.
When in doubt, it's best to see a doctor to rule out a medical diagnosis. But when a doctor says you are HIV negative and not suffering from any other physical condition, then it's time to seek out therapy and support from people who can help with the challenging aspects of being an adult who enjoys sexual contact with others.
Although "AIDS Phobia" is not an official clinical diagnosis, a U.S. Nurse recently offered an excellent description of this phenomenon, and the very real anguish it can cause. I hope you'll give this a read, and consider ways you can experience pleasure, intimacy, and play, without the fear (https://www.verywell.com/understanding-aids-phobia-48745).
And once you're feeling better, please write me again and let me know a what a flutternutter is!
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