Oct 28, 2017
Hi Damon, about a month ago i had protected anal sex with a man i met twice on grindr, he claims to be negative (last tested in july). at the beginning of our sexual act (i am the bottom), the condom broke. There was no cum, but i am still very worried. I haven't got tested yet and lately i went to a clinic and i was told to wait a month before taking any tests. What are the real risks? I am treading going to be tested. Thank you
Response from Mr. Jacobs
Hi there -- I understand how terrifying it can feel when a condom breaks as a bottom. I've been there! This is one of the reasons that many receptive partners have opted to use PrEP to prevent HIV transmissions. Aside from being more than 99% effective, PrEP is also the first time us bottoms (or 'receptive' folks) have been able to maintain full control over our health status. We get to decide to remain HIV negative regardless of a partner's HIV status. And if one choose to use a condom, and that condom breaks, then HIV is not on the menu of consequences or outcomes.
But your question about the real risks of getting fucked without a condom with no cum at all? Pretty much zero. Although there are medical theories that suppose that precum can contain HIV if the person is HIV positive and detectable, there are no real world studies or experiences that have ever shown this to be a reality. After 36 years of research, we understand a lot about HIV is transmitted. The fact that there are no examples of precum as a credible variable in over 70 million transmissions tells you a lot.
I would agree that your partner's reassurances he is HIV negative are of little comfort here. But if he is open to discussion, you may want to learn more about why he believes this is so. If he is using PrEP, and taking it as prescribed, then you can be pretty sure he is in fact HIV negative. Someone who is HIV negative cannot transmit HIV to others. So again, that is another reason to believe there are no substantial HIV risks involved.
Most HIV tests now can return an accurate result within 28 days (http://i-base.info/guides/testing/what-is-the-window-period). So I would definitely say it is in your interest to get a test now, knowing that your real risk of having acquired HIV from this event are pretty much zero. Then, once you see the negative test results, consider whether PrEP may help you to feel more in control of your health, and empowered by your sexual decisions.
I hope this helps!
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