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Broken condom in Madrid?

Oct 21, 2017

Hi, Ive read a few q&as on this forum that kind of answer this, but my heart wont rest until I personally talk about it. I was traveling through Madrid and went to go get a massage. I thought something was up when she had me shower first, but I rolled with it and eventually wound up having sex with her after my back rub. Before any insertion I put a condom on, and after a while it broke while I was trying to reinsert. I noticed it and immediately pulled out. She put another one on me and we finished (it held all of the way through. When I was done she wouldnt touch any of my bodily fluid and used a paper towel to put the condoms, cloths, etc. Into a hazard/medical bag that she had. We hung out and talked a bit after and she told me she was clean, but Im still a bit afraid of the brief second my penis may have touched her when the condom broke. Im going to go get tested but my heart is in constant turmoil over this. I dont know if I should start preparing for the worst or try and calm down over the whole matter.

Thank you so much for your time and patience.

Response from Mr. Jacobs

Thank you for writing in and trusting me and our caring staff at The Body with your question. If we can help your heart rest a bit, then we are glad to do so.

Given you have read other Q&As on here, you most likely know what the medical and rational answer to your question is going to be. Was there risk of acquiring HIV as the insertive partner for the few seconds that you were inside of her without a condom? Science would tell us that there was pretty much zero risk, and that you are actually more statistically at risk of getting hurt crossing the street in Madrid than acquiring HIV from this encounter.

For the sake of argument, let's say she was living with HIV, had a detectable viral load, and didn't tell you about it. Even under those circumstances, your risks of becoming HIV positive by being inside her without a condom are less than .04% (https://www.poz.com/article/HIV-risk-25382-5829). And as far as other STIs, it is extremely unlikely that you would have been exposed from such a brief interaction after the condom broke.

This reminds me of a story that a teacher named Terry Cole Whittaker used to tell. She would describe vivid dreams of being chased by horrible scary monster. Eventually in one dream she fell down while running, giving the monster ample chance to catch her. Defeated she cried and asked the monster, "What are you going to do with me?" The monster replied, "I don't know, lady, it's YOUR dream."

In other words, the "worst" you are preparing for here is in your mind. Your imagination has created a monster that is far more terrifying and traumatic than any fathomable reality in waking life. I hope from my heart to yours that you get some assistance dealing with your fears, and learn how to enjoy sexuality and pleasure in a way that results in feeling relaxed, joyful, and free.



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