Risk of dipping after partner had recent unprotected sex?
Sep 18, 2017
First of all a big thank you to you all who are involved in this site. It is important to have a place like this to come to and read up on things as well as ask questions to well informed health care specialists.
My concern is following: I fooled around with a gentleman last night. During foreplay my sexual partner told me that I was inside of him. While he was telling me I was already reaching down to check if I had not slipped inside of him due to the sensation. I pulled out immediately (max 5 seconds all together) and I am not too certain how much of my penis below the head was inserted but it was not much. I do have a abrasion on the skin of my penis close to the head (open skin, tiny). My partner then informed me that he has had unprotected anal sex a couple of days ago and that he had stopped his Prep treatment two weeks ago as he ran out of meds (living in the UK, you have to order them independently online). Due to the skin abrasion I got a bit worried. I went to my local sexual health clinic and presented the same facts. I am now on PEP, which I will finish taking - they gave me the choice for treatment as the factors could not determine if a proper risk is substantiated or not. My mind is rather cool at the moment and I am aware of probability etc. but I just wanted to double check what your opinion on this matter is in regards to risk.
Thank you for your time and help - it is appreciated.
Response from Mr. Jacobs
HI there, Thank YOU first of all for reading this column and trusting The Body.Com with your concerns. We truly appreciate the questions.
Based on the incidents you described it seems your risk of acquiring HIV from this incident is nearly zero. Here is why:
(1) You were only inside him for five seconds. Your risk of acquiring HIV as as a top, even if it was for a continued stretch of time, are pretty close to zero, or less than 1% (https://www.poz.com/article/HIV-risk-25382-5829).
(2) He would have to actually have detectable HIV in order to transmit HIV. You mentioned he stopped using PrEP two weeks ago, and had had unprotected sex since then. The good news there is that he still had adequate protection for anal sex for the first week after he stopped using PrEP (http://www.aidsmap.com/Intermittent-PrEP-may-be-a-robust-strategy-for-anal-sex-vaginal-much-less-certain/page/2986809/). As for that second week, okay, he was at greater risk of acquiring HIV if he was exposed to detectable levels. But even if that were the case, your risk of acquiring HIV from 5 seconds are infinitesimal. I've actually never heard of anyone acquiring HIV from 5 minutes of penetrative sex.
There is one concern I have, however, about your question. You said he had to tell you that you were inside him that you did not know this yourself. How is this possible? Anal sex is wonderful but also a fairly complicated maneuver requiring some sort of lube, saliva, or solution. Penises don't generally fall into anuses without some kind of intention and effort.
Sometimes when people say they didn't know something was happening it's because they are under the influence of a drug and/or afraid of being stigmatized. I know that in certain areas, and definitely in emergency rooms, it might be easier to say you didn't know your penis was inside him versus, "Yeah I went in there for five seconds, the sensation was incredible, and then I paniced."
The reason I bring up this latter point is because I hope that YOU are able to eventually consciously and intentionally enjoy the kind of intimacy, pleasure, and sensation you deserve. You are on PeP now, and sometimes programs will use PeP as a bridge to PrEP if the person asks. If that is not possible in the UK then you may want to consider to going to the UK PrEP website, "I Want PrEP Now" (https://www.iwantprepnow.co.uk/) for help in getting that monthly prescription started. You may find once you are on PrEP you'll have the reason and confidence to say, "I like the sensation of being inside a man without barriers, and that's okay!"
I hope this answer allows you to relax and complete your PeP regimen while considering other ways to be proactive, responsible, and empowered about your pleasure and protection. For more information about PrEP, pleasure, and access, please come visit us in the Facebook international "PrEP Facts" group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/PrEPFacts/
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