I'm an uncut top on prep!
Sep 12, 2017
I had unprotected sex with a guy who claimes he's also on prep but am worried. I've been on prep for about 6 months now, but always use condoms. I don't trust anyone and am worried.
Response from Mr. Jacobs
Hi there, I can understand you are worried. The impact of 'safer-sex' messaging over most of the past 36 years is palpable, as it has directly and indirectly resulted in many being afraid of sex and trepidatious about connecting with others. That can lead to irrational fears and worries interfering with sexual pleasure and intimacy.
So let's figure out what might be happening for you. The first issue is how you're using language to describe risk. You say you had "unprotected" sex, yet you say you've been on PrEP for 6 months. PrEP is actually considered very protected sex given that daily use reduces risk of acquiring HIV to nearly zero. (http://www.natap.org/2016/ICAAC/ICAAC_02.htm). It's important that we understand the distinction between "unprotected sex" and "condomless sex on PrEP" because language can often shape and create unfounded worries.
Next you mention your partner claims he is on PrEP too. My respectful challenge to you is: What on earth doesn't matter? The whole point of using PrEP is so your risk of acquiring HIV if exposed to detectable levels is nearly zero. Even if you were having loads of condomless sex with a person who had a detectable level of HIV, your risk of acquiring HIV would still be about zero. It doesn't matter what the other person says or claims, PrEP puts YOU in control of your protection, not them.
I think you are saying you are worried about having topped a guy without a condom as an uncut male. Let's say for the sake of argument that you were not protected by PrEP, and if your partner did have detectable levels of transmittable HIV. Even in THAT scenario - your risk of acquiring HIV would still be less than 1%, given topping is considered a far less risky activity than bottoming (https://www.poz.com/article/HIV-risk-25382-5829).
So when we put that all together, we can see that whether you trust anyone or not isn't really the point. Daily use of PrEP will protect you whether you trust a partner or not. Daily use of PrEP can also protect you from the worry you are experiencing, as it is nearly impossible to acquire HIV while using PrEP.
I hope this information enables you to experience the empowerment and confidence your deserve while enjoying sexual encounters. For more information about PrEP, please join the International "PrEP Facts" Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/PrEPFacts
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